This is one of the most important articles on this site. Knowing when to walk away from a girl is crucial when it comes to dating success, relationship success, and attraction.
The purpose of this article is to help you overcome these difficult situations. As men, we’ve all been in the trenches.
We’ve all had those difficult girls we tried to win over, those girls we struggle to become intimate with, but no matter what we do or how hard we try things just never worked out.
We all know what it’s like to date difficult women. Even the simple act of talking to the girl becomes difficult.
You send the girl a message, and she takes forever to respond, and when she does respond its with minimal interest.
You get the girl out on a date and she’s guarded and withdrawn, as though she can’t wait to get away from you and end the night.
You try to set up more dates, and she continues to flake. In fact, she’s been flaky for as long as you have known her.
Nothing is ever easy, and it’s never going to get easier.
Then there are the girls you take out on dates with who will never allow you to become intimate with them. They love the attention, they love talking to you, but for whatever reason they refuse to get intimate with you.
They dangle the carrot of intimacy in front of your nose, snatching it away as soon as you try to close the distance and get closer to them.
When you try to push for intimacy, they complain and tell you that you’re a pervert and that you’re violating her boundaries.
And then there is the girl you go out on fantastic dates with only to return home and find that you struggle to communicate with her over the phone.
What on earth is going on? Why is dating so difficult? Is it a sign of the times or is it just female behavior?
You have a great time face-to-face, yet she doesn’t seem all that interested in you when she’s away from you, and gosh, what a struggle to get a response out of her.
Then there are those girls who tell you how much they love you and enjoy spending time with you, yet they won’t even meet you for a cup of coffee.
Their actions tell you everything you need to know–you’re just not that important.
This is difficult dating. Everything is a hassle. Every step of the way the girl makes things difficult. In all of these situations, there is only one solution: walk away and go no contact on her forever.
Difficult Girls
I’ve spent years talking to men about their relationship problems, and one thing keeps on coming up time and time again: if a girl is difficult, it’s not going to get any easier.
It doesn’t matter if you sleep with her, it doesn’t matter if you get into a relationship with her, it’s still going to be difficult.
I often tell men, you can see the end of the relationship in the beginning—if you look closely.
Open your eyes and really look at the beginning of the relationship, you can already see the ending before the end has arrived.
If you’re honest with yourself, you know how a relationship with a girl is going to play out from your interactions with her.
If she is a nightmare to deal with, if she won’t even text you back (or is slow to respond), she will continue to be difficult for as long as you know her.
Don’t take it personally, it’s just the nature of the girl. It’s the situation. It’s your chemistry. It’s the way she’s wired to respond. She isn’t going to change, no matter how much you would like her to change.
She might be testing you, she might be busy, she might have a boyfriend (or another guy) in the background. The end result is still the same: it’s difficult.
Based on the thousands of men I’ve interacted with over the years, there is one truth I’ve come to learn which is more powerful than anything else: if dating becomes difficult, walk away because it’s not going to get any easier.
Difficult Dating
We all know what it’s like to date a girl who is really into us. When a girl is into us, dating becomes easy.
You don’t have to work hard to see her, you don’t have to struggle to get a response out of her, and she goes out of her way to see you and make you happy.
If a girl is into you and she is attracted to you, dating becomes seamless. It works. It clicks. There is no struggle.
When a girl likes you, she will go out of her way to see you, she will make setting up dates easy, and she will want to be intimate with you. It will be a joy for you and a joy for her.
On the other hand, we’ve all been in situations where dating is difficult, where a girl doesn’t text you back even though you thought the girl liked you.
In this situation, you find yourself struggling. It’s difficult to talk to the girl, it’s difficult to get a response out of her, it’s difficult to meet her, and it’s especially difficult to be intimate with her.
Difficult Relationships
Difficult relationships are the same. You’re in a relationship with a girl, but you don’t feel comfortable.
She keeps backing away, she withholds intimacy, ex-boyfriend’s keep reappearing, you feel as though there’s other guys in the background, and she seems reluctant to commit to you.
For whatever reason, she keeps on pulling away from you. She wants more space. She comes up with a list of excuses: she needs to find herself; it’s not you, it’s her; she needs space; she needs time to work on herself… The list goes on.
You sense things are getting difficult, but you don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to get her interested in you and make things easy. And no matter what you do, it seems like the more you chase, the more she pulls away.
It’s as though she’s looking for excuses not to make it work, as though she wants out of the relationship and is looking for the exit. Whenever you try to get her to commit to you, she is resistant.
There are those relationships where all you seem to do is fight. The relationship is loaded with conflict and stress. You don’t feel relaxed.
Every time you’re with her, you seem to be butting heads. You fight. She gets angry, she gets upset, she cries and you’re left feeling miserable and stressed out as a result.
You might be in a relationship where a girl is jealous, volatile, and constantly accusing you of making mistakes as she continues to drag up things you did in the past.
Again, everything is more difficult than it needs to be. It’s not smooth.
Dating and relationships should be easy. When you’re both on the same page, you shouldn’t have to feel as though you’re fighting to make things work.
And truth be told, sometimes love isn’t enough. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re necessarily going to be happy together. You can still love someone, but fight like cats and dogs.
Stress is debilitating. It sucks your energy. It takes away your life force. It takes all the joy out of life. Don’t allow yourself to live in a situation like this in the hope that things will get better, they won’t––at least not with this girl.
Walk Away
When I first started consulting with men, I used to try to solve these problems on an individual basis.
I would often be able to give men a temporary fix for their situation. Only, the problem never really went away. The same problems kept on coming back up and recurring again and again.
It was as though I was putting a superficial bandage over a fatal wound. You could cover the damage and make it look pretty, but you couldn’t stop the bleeding.
After dealing with the same situations over and over, I came to one conclusion: the best way to deal with difficult girls, difficult dating, difficult relationships is to walk away.
Walk away because it won’t get any easier. If it’s hard in the beginning, it will be hard forever.
- That girl you been struggling to take out on a date, walk away.
- That girl who responds to all your messages but won’t even deign to see you, walk away.
- That girl who takes forever to get back to you, walk away.
- The girl who was once interested in you, until you made some small mistakes, and now she won’t even give you the time of day–walk away.
- The girl who keeps shutting you down every time you try to become intimate with her or kiss her, walk away.
- The girl you send a message to, asking her out on a date, only to get the following the response: “Maybe, I’m not sure, I’m kind of busy this week, I’ll let you know later.” Subtext: you’re not important enough, you’re not a priority. Walk away and cut her off until she does make you a priority.
Cut, Cut, Cut
Go no Contact on women who don’t show you the proper respect and make you a priority in their life.
If there’s one truism in life and relationships, it’s this: you either bend to a woman’s reality or she bends to your reality.
It is especially hard to walk away from women, especially when we have sunk so much time and energy into trying to win a girl over. But I say this to help save you time more time, cut your losses and run.
One major advantages I have, and where I can be of great benefit in my consultations, is that I have a large pool of data to draw upon.
I’ve seen thousands and thousands of dating/relationship problems.
See enough problems, and you start to see patterns. You get a sixth sense for how things work out. You can hear a situation and know with complete certainty how the end will arrive.
It’s like having a crystal ball, only you don’t have a crystal ball–you can’t see into the future. But you still know what’s going to happen.
They say the greatest predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you know what happened in the past, you know what will happen in the future.
When you’ve seen the same situations play out in different countries and different cultures around the world, you know what’s going to happen–you know the ending of the movie the moment it begins.
Any time dating or relationships become difficult, walk away.
It’s hard. You can feel like a terrible person. You can feel like you’re giving up. You can feel cold and ruthless. Are you being abusive?
No, you’re not being abusive. You didn’t create this drama. She created the drama, and you’re simply choosing to turn the TV off.
Respect and Value
I’ve said it before, women only respect that which they have to work for. If a woman has to work hard to win you over, she will appreciate you much that much more.
The reason why diamonds are so coveted is because they are a scarce resource. If you, as a man, are also in limited supply you will be seen as much more attractive.
If you’re always available, always responsive, relationship focused, needy, desperate to win her over, scared of losing her, jealous, you must first work on your own confidence and fix yourself.
If dating becomes difficult, and you find that girls aren’t that interested in you or they continuously drop out of your life, that tells you something important about yourself: it tells you that you need to work on yourself first. You need to raise your value. You need to improve as a person.
How do you raise your value?
You invest in yourself. You improve yourself. You work out. You build a business. You further your education. You strive for something more.
Remember, women aren’t just attracted to successful men, women are attracted to men who are ambitious more than anything else.
If a woman thinks you have what it takes to be successful, that is just as attractive as the success itself.
Invest in yourself, don’t invest in women. If you invest in yourself, women will flock to you.
Walking away from a woman who doesn’t respect you and cutting her off is the most powerful move you can make. There is no greater demonstration of confidence.
If a girl is withholding intimacy, affection, love, time, attention, affection–the best way to fix this is to walk away and show her that you’re not interested and you’ve got better things to do with your time.
You display value through your actions as opposed to your words. Walk away from a girl and you tell her everything she needs to know: she had better change her behavior or else you’ll never see her again.
Sometimes, it’s true, you will never hear from girl again if you cut her off. So be it. You know where you stand. She just never had that high attraction for you in the first place.
Don’t take it personally. Take it as a sign that you need to work on yourself and improve your own value.
Women will always be there. In one year, in two years, in five years, in ten years, it doesn’t matter. Women aren’t going anywhere. The world is full of women and you have unlimited options, even if you can’t see it right now.
Take care of yourself first, respect yourself, hold yourself with dignity, and walk away from women if they start making your life difficult.
It’s easy to find another woman, only the man with limited options and limited confidence hangs onto a woman who makes life difficult for him.
With this in mind, the moment a girl starts making things difficult, where once you would have told her, “It’s okay, I understand. Tell me how I can change so you’ll find me attractive? How I can make you happy?”
Now, you no longer do this. You walk away and cut her off. You are indifferent to her presence. She is the one who must change, she is the one who must come to you and make you happy.
Remember, women aren’t attracted to nice guys and nice guy behavior. In the realm of attraction, however, the opposite of being nice isn’t being an asshole; the opposite of nice is indifference.
You must be indifferent to women. No matter what they do. No matter what they say. No matter whether they see you or not.
A woman’s presence can no longer affect you. You are your own man and you’re the one who decides if a girl will see you again are not.
When it comes to seduction, a woman’s investment in you, is much more important than your investment in her.