If a girl doesn’t text you back, how do you get her to respond? This article will show you how to handle this frustrating situation.
9 Reasons A Girl Doesn’t Text Back
- She’s busy
- She’s stressed out
- She’s seeing someone else
- She feels like you’re chasing her
- She currently has low attraction for you
- She likes you and wants to play this right
- She doesn’t want to appear too desperate
- She’s testing you for weakness and neediness
- She wants to know if you’re high value or not
As you can see, there are many reasons why a girl doesn’t text back. It is frustrating. It is annoying, but it’s common.
I’ve been doing consultations with men for almost 10 years now, and this is something that comes up time and time again.
Women, everywhere in the world, behave the same way—they flake, they don’t respond to text messages, they go distant for no apparent reason.
It doesn’t matter what country she comes from, what culture she comes from, or how old she is, if she’s an attractive woman, at some point she will go distant on you.
How you handle the situation, however, is what separates you from other men.
She Doesn’t Text Back
Sure, it’s normal to feel disrespected if a girl doesn’t text back. But whatever you do, don’t show your anger to her.
If a woman senses that you’re upset or affected by her pull away, she will continue to pull away from you and withdraw.
If you show a woman that you’re emotionally affected by her actions, she will come to see you as weak and emotionally unstable.
Women are turned off by weakness in all its various forms.
In the modern world of fast dating and fast hookups, there is no easier way to separate the strong, confident man from the weak man than to not respond to a man’s messages.
So how do you handle the situation?
If she doesn’t text you back, you must walk away and let her know that you aren’t going to chase her.
This is especially true if you perceive the girl to have higher value than you.
If you perceive a girl to have higher value, she will sense this from your behavior and she will get turned off by you.
Women are more intuitive than men and they can tell how you feel about them just from observing your behavior.
As I mention in my book, Atomic Attraction, women don’t want to be with men who are low value and lacking in confidence.
Value isn’t solely about money or social status, it’s about attitude.
If you hold yourself with dignity and confidence, displaying a willingness to walk away, you will be perceived to have higher value by women.
Men who are too available, text too much (double-text), chase too hard, and are too relationship focused––turn women off.
Women want to feel a sense of challenge and uncertainty about you, this is scientifically proven to turn women on and make them think about you.
Responsive behavior, on the other hand, has been scientifically proven to turn women off and push them away.
Why She Pulls Away
There can be many reasons why a woman decides to pull away.
She might be moody, she might be under a lot of stress, she might be testing you, she might be wanting space.
It doesn’t matter why a girl doesn’t text you back, your response must be the same: walk away and cut her off until she messages you back.
It might take a week, it might take three weeks, if you walk away she will be in touch, unless she is already dating someone else. In that case, you never really had a chance in the first place.
If a girl is emotionally attached to another man, it doesn’t matter if Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio comes along–if she’s a quality girl, she isn’t going to leave her man.
She’s Hot, She’s Cold
It can be confusing when you’re talking to a woman and she suddenly stops texting back.
You wonder what you did wrong?
Often, you didn’t do anything wrong. You are simply experiencing the fluctuation of a woman’s emotions.
One minute she’s excited to talk you, the next minute she needs space and distance.
It’s crucial that you give her space, for in that space grows attraction and tension and excitement.
If a woman is talking to you every day, she knows what you’re doing and thinking on a daily basis. There is no excitement.
On the other hand, if she has time away from you, she starts to miss you, she starts to think about you, and she starts to crave your presence.
The attractive, confident man allows space and into his relationships because he knows this will further his cause and spike a woman’s attraction for him.
The unattractive man fights against space, constantly trying to close the distance to sooth his insecurity and anxiety; in the process, he turns the women off and pushes them away forever.
She Ghosts You
What happens if you’re messaging a girl and she suddenly disappears? Or, she just drops off the face of the earth and never texts you back?
Can this really happen, can women really just disappear and ghost a guy?
Yes, it does happen. Women do ghost, but this usually happens in the very early stages of dating.
It happens when the woman doesn’t have a strong emotional connection with a man, when the relationship hangs by a thread and one bad text message snaps the line.
Which leads me back to another point, can one solitary text message really kill a relationship?
Yes. You can loose a woman in the beginning if you over text, double text, chase too hard, or say something that implies you are looking for a relationship or commitment too early on.
However, if you constantly find yourself in the situation where you message a girl and she doesn’t text back, look inward…
Your value, as hard as it is to acknowledge this, is probably too low.
In that case, you need to work on yourself and improve yourself as a person to ensure better results.
Get Her To Chase You
One of the keys to getting a girl to text you back is to get her to chase you.
Once a woman understands that you aren’t going to chase her if she pulls away from you, she will begin to chase you and move closer to you.
Getting a girl to chase you is a subtle process. There are, however, certain techniques and strategies that you can use to ensure that this happens.
The following techniques are designed to put the woman into the role of the chaser and raise her attraction for you.
First, you must have the inner-strength to allow the woman to reach out to you after she doesn’t text you back.
(The higher a woman’s value or attractiveness, the longer you might have to wait.)
When it comes to getting a woman to chase you, just remember that she must be the one who reaches out to start the majority of conversations.
You can then respond back to her. But if, at any point, she drops out of the conversation, don’t text her again. Ever. Period. She must be the one to come back to you.
Go no contact and wait for her to reach out to you (even if this takes her a couple of days or a couple of weeks). This is normal and you should expect it to happen sometimes.
If a girl ever complains about you not texting her, just remember that if you listen to her and change your behavior to please her, you’re just playing into her hands.
You fail her test, you look weak, and you look like you’ll do anything to please her.
She should be the one keeping the relationship alive and moving closer to you, not you chasing her. So, don’t listen to her words, focus on her actions instead.
Your job as a man is to keep the interaction light, fun and playful—and always push for intimacy.
Get Off the Phone
You can’t build attraction over the phone, but you sure can kill it.
That’s why you must limit your phone use as much as possible. Try to use the phone to set up dates and that’s it.
If you send too many messages to a girl, you risk boring her to death and turning her off.
This is one of the reasons why women drop out of conversions and ghost men—they get bored and the man never asks them out.
Ask a girl out, set the date, and get off the phone.
If you’ve done this already and she didn’t text you back, cut contact and make her reach out to you. This will build her excitement and get her to think about you again.
How to Text a Girl
I’ve already written an in-depth article on how to text a girl, but this is a good template to use when it comes to interacting with women.
1) When she contacts you, have a short conversation over the phone. Don’t be in a rush to set up the date. Ask her how she’s doing. Have some playful banter.
2) After some brief, initial texting, ask her out.
3) If she says yes, then set up the date.
4) If she says she can’t meet up or flakes/is evasive, tell her “Cool, let me know when you’re free and we can meet up then.” Then go no contact until she contacts you again.
How Long Will She Pull Away For?
This is a question that often comes up: how long do women pull away for?On average, a pull away usually falls into one of three categories:
1) 3 to 7 days: the short pull away. Usually a test, or the woman is feeling the need for space and distance. Nothing serious here. Nothing to worry about.
2) 2 to 3 weeks: the medium pull away. This usually happens when the man has become too needy, or made some small, but frequent mistakes such as being too relationship focused, caused stress, or pushed too hard for commitment.
3) 6 weeks: the long pull away. It does happen. Usually, when there’s been some severe damage in the relationship. The man has become emotionally unstable and volatile and caused immense stress for the woman.
At which point, it takes six weeks (minimum) for the stress to dissipate and fade away. This is known as the fading effect bias in psychology.
In all of the above situations, maintain no contact on a girl until she contacts you back. Never double-text and never chase. This way you distinguish yourself from 95% of men out there.
If you learn to walk away from women who don’t text back, you will save yourself a lot of trouble in the process.
You will separate the flakes and the attention seekers from the girls who are genuinely interested in getting to know you, but were merely testing you before they sought you out for further commitment and intimacy.