If you want to text a girl you like and build real attraction, this article will show you how to do this. Texting and calling a girl the right way is often the difference between success and failure with women.
You live in an age where you can now contact a woman anytime, day or night, without restriction, and without difficulty. In the history of mankind, this has never before been possible—until now.
Our ability to communicate 24/7 has made the dating game a whole lot easier, yet it’s also brought with it a whole new set of problems. The first problem is that women no longer exclusively use the phone as a way to communicate, the phone is now frequently used as a psychological weapon.
At no other time in history has it been easier for women to test men and wreak havoc on their emotions. Women know that if they can unsettle a man, there’s a good chance they’ll be able to expose his insecurities and find out just how confident he really is. This is why it’s so important to understand how to text a girl you like and call a woman the right way.
Ninety-five percent of men get a woman’s contact details and immediately ask the woman out on a date. Yes, you want to ask her out, but not with your first message.
The first message you send to a woman should simply be a “feeler message.” At this point, all you’re trying to do is figure out if the woman is interested in you or not. Your first message to a woman should be something simple along the lines of: “Hey, it was nice to meet you.” Nothing more, nothing less.
You’re not enquiring into how she’s doing or appearing too interested at this point. As always, it’s important to cultivate an aura of mystery and suspense.
Most men remain ignorant of the fact that longer messages only make them look more responsive and thus more desperate. This does nothing to raise a woman’s attraction or cultivate an aura of mystery.
The same applies to talking on the phone for hours on end. As with all areas of seduction, less is more. There are, after all, only so many things you can say to a woman before she knows everything about you. If you try to get too close to a woman too soon, you run the risk of giving away too much information.
You become a known quantity; and while this brings with it the elements of safety and security, it does nothing to build a sense of intrigue and fascination.
If a woman is interested in you, she’ll be in touch. You don’t raise a woman’s attraction by sending her lots of messages and calling her on the phone.
To get a sense of whether a woman is interested in seeing you or not, all you have to do is send her one message and wait for her to respond. No response means she’s either not interested or she’s seeing someone else.
If She Doesn’t Respond
If you receive no reply from your initial message, there’s no point sending another message in a desperate attempt to try and win her over. Only when a woman responds to your initial message, should you respond with some light-hearted banter before using this as an opportunity to ask her out on a date.
If, for whatever reason, a woman is unable to meet up with you, it’s important to remain unaffected by her response.
She might be genuinely busy and unable to meet you even if she wants to. It is, however, easy to kill attraction by handling resistance the wrong way. You might interpret a woman’s initial resistance as a sign of rejection.
This is the moment most men become hyper-responsive, bombarding women with messages and phone calls without waiting for a response.
The rules of attraction dictate that you should never display too much interest in a woman too soon to preserve your value and create an aura of mystery.
One sure way to kill attraction is to send too many messages without giving a woman enough time to respond. It’s essential that you allow a woman the opportunity reach out to you after you send her a message.
The natural flow of a text conversation should resemble that of a face-to-face conversation. In face-to-face conversation, a speaker who rambles without letting the other person speak comes across as overbearing and tiresome.
Don’t Text A Girl You Like Too Much
If you send too many messages without giving a woman the chance to respond, you’re telling the woman that you want her more than she wants you, and that’s never a good foundation for attraction. Consider the following text conversation between Stan and Diane:
Stan: Hey Di, it was great to meet you the other day. How are you?
(No response from Diane.)
Stan: Just finished work. Now on my way to the gym 🙂
Stan: What are you up to this evening?
Diane: Hey, super busy day. Need to workout myself.
Stan: Hope you have a great workout. What kind of workout are you doing?
Stan: I just did some weights and cardio.
Stan: Need to bust my stress. My day was crazy busy too!
(No response from Diane.)
Stan: Let me know if you’d like to catch up over the weekend. If you’re free? 🙂
In this situation, Diane might have been legitimately busy or she might have been testing Stan. Either way, Stan failed to give Diane enough time to respond.
By sending seven messages to Diane’s one solitary message, Stan displayed a weak, insecure side of himself that did nothing but lower Diane’s attraction for him.
In the early stages of the relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of texting a girl you like for hours on end. Resist this trap, for it offers few rewards. You might feel an intense level of desire and comfort when you speak to a woman.
You might feel the need to express this desire when you communicate, convinced that doing so will bring the two of you closer together and strengthen the bond between you. Many good men have fallen into this trap with disastrous consequences.
A study published in Psychological Science examined how women reacted to men who expressed different types of feelings for them. In the study, the women were asked to rate men in three different categories.
In the first category, the women were told the men “liked” them. In the second category, the women were told the men had “no feelings” for them. And in the third category, the women were told it was “unknown” how the men felt about them.
What was interesting about this study was that the women didn’t rate the men who “liked” them as the most attractive; surprisingly, the women rated the men whose feelings for them were “unknown” as the most attractive.
The study also revealed that the women found themselves thinking most often about the men whose feelings were “unknown” as opposed to the men who “liked” them or had “no feelings” for them at all.
This study demonstrates that uncertainty increases a woman’s attraction for a man. There’s no doubt the more a woman thinks about you, the more likely she is to find you attractive and desirable.
Make Her Work for Your Attention
Equally interesting research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology examined the power of winning a lover over. The participants in the study were asked to engage in a series of meetings. During these meetings, each participant would “accidentally” overhear one of the experimenters describe the participant in one of four ways: (1) all positive: (2) all negative; (3) initially negative but becoming positive; or (4) initially positive but becoming negative. It was predicted that the participants in the study would like the experimenter more when the experimenter’s assessment of them was “all positive.”
What the researchers discovered, however, was that the participants in the study liked the experimenter more when the experimenter’s assessment of them was “initially negative but becoming positive.” The findings of this study can just as easily apply to the world of dating, where a woman is much more likely to find you desirable and attractive if she has to win you over as opposed to knowing that you liked her right from the start.
Case Study: Be a Challenge
Greg was attracted to Michelle the moment he saw her running on the treadmill at the gym. After summoning the courage to ask her out, Greg and Michelle soon started dating. Greg couldn’t believe his luck. Here was a woman who was not only beautiful and smart, she was also in great shape and had a body to die for. Greg and Michelle had now been dating for three months, and the more time they spent together, the more they liked each other.
Greg had dated a lot of women in the past, but Michelle stood head and shoulders above the rest. Now, in his early forties, Greg was looking to settle down and start a family.
Every morning, Greg would start the day by sending Michelle a message telling her how much he loved her and cared about her. Michelle loved this. Greg was sweet, attractive, successful, and kind. In fact, he was just about the kindest man Michelle had ever met. It was nice to feel loved and appreciated for once, especially after having had so many bad relationships in the past.
Michelle loved how she could talk to Greg on the phone for hours, talking about anything and everything. That is until one morning Greg sent Michelle another “Rise and shine, I love you” message.
For the first time in their relationship, Michelle no longer felt the need to respond. She couldn’t explain why she felt this way. When Michelle looked at Greg’s message, she felt nothing. No need to panic, Michelle thought as she fired off a quick “Love you too” in response. Greg had no idea that endlessly expressing his love and devotion had slowly but surely killed Michelle’s attraction for him.
Talking too long on the phone, sending too many messages, initiating every conversation, and expressing your love and devotion are all common traps that men fall into.
Expect Her to Test You
If your goal is to raise a woman’s attraction, you must learn to project strength and value even when speaking and texting on the phone. And although it’s your role as a man to initiate and chase a woman at the beginning of the relationship, this doesn’t mean you should send a woman a stream of messages if she doesn’t respond to you. All you have to do is send one message, then give her enough time to respond. Whether it takes her a minute to get back to you or a week is immaterial.
There will always be times when a woman goes cold and decides to ignore a man’s messages. The woman might be genuinely busy, she might be in a bad mood, or she might be testing you. Whatever the reason, you must wait for a woman to respond in her own time, even if this means walking away until she gets back to you.
If a woman takes an hour to respond, simply mirror her response time. If she responds within five minutes, feel free to respond in a similar timeframe.
If a woman doesn’t get back to you for a day or two, return the favor and respond the following day. Don’t feel as though you have to respond straight away just because it’s the “nice” thing to do. And don’t be afraid to make her wait. Just because it’s polite doesn’t mean it’s right.
Case Study: Exposing Insecurities
Kyle didn’t try to hide the fact that he was falling head-over-heels in love with Anita. She was the sexiest girl he had ever dated; not only that, she was easy-going and even easier to talk to. During the week, when Kyle and Anita didn’t see each other, they would often spend hours talking to each other on the phone.
One afternoon, Kyle sent Anita a message: “Hey, how’s your day going?” Four hours later, Kyle was still waiting for Anita to respond. What’s going on? Kyle thought. Has she lost interest in me? Kyle decided to send Anita another message to find out what was going on.
* * *
Anita was driving to the gym when she saw Kyle’s message. She couldn’t respond right there and then so she told herself she would get back to him when she wasn’t driving. Anita drove to the gym then went to the supermarket. It was a busy afternoon and she kept telling herself to send Kyle a message as soon as she got home.
When Anita got home three hours later, she was exhausted and decided to jump in the shower then grab something to eat. She reminded herself to call Kyle right after she finished dinner. When Anita eventually got around to checking her phone, she saw a bunch of missed calls and messages from Kyle.
Kyle: Hey, I guess you’ve been really busy this afternoon. What are you doing?
Kyle: Just going out for dinner, want to join me?
Kyle: Is everything okay?
Kyle: What’s going on? Has something happened?
Kyle: Where are you?
Anita sighed with disappointment. She thought back to a time when she had dated a guy called Will. Once, when she didn’t respond to Will for half a day, she remembered how he had gone crazy and proceeded to blow-up her phone.
Without even realizing it, Kyle had just made a similar mistake. All those messages seeking reassurance exposed a weakness Anita had seen before in her ex-boyfriend, and she wouldn’t hesitate to dump Kyle if he acted the same way.
Attraction grows in space, not in close proximity. If you want to raise a woman’s attraction for you, you first need to get her thinking about you. Being less responsive is one way to accomplish this.
Don’t Be Too Responsive
There’s a deep underlying psychology when it comes to texting a girl you like if you want to build attraction. What you say, how you say it, how long your messages are, how frequently you send messages, who initiates first, and how fast you respond communicates either weakness or strength. When a man immediately responds to a woman’s messages, the woman can’t help but feel the man’s desperation. And what kind of man is desperate? The weak and unattractive man.
Numerous psychological studies show that men who are highly responsive are less attractive to women. A responsive behavior set is comprised of behaviors that signal that a man “understands, values, and is willing to support a woman and invest his resources into the relationship.” In other words, he is prepared to become the ultimate provider both physically and emotionally.
Most men believe that acting this way is a good thing. They assume the more supportive, understanding, and responsive they are the more likely a woman is to find them attractive. And while it’s true that men find responsive women attractive, women don’t feel the same way about responsive men.
If there are any lessons to be learned from studies into attraction, it’s that women aren’t attracted to nice guys. They’re attracted to men who project strength and confidence. If you start with the fundamental truth that women are attracted to strength in all its various forms and guises, it becomes a lot easier to see why being a “nice guy” and why being responsive is so unattractive.
From a woman’s perspective, a responsive man is more likely to be exploited by others. The responsive man also sends the signal that he’s eager to please, has a weaker character, and has fewer dating options.
If you’re over responsive and too available, you communicate weakness. A woman wants to know that she can have space without having to worry about you getting upset or becoming clingy.
Every human being wants freedom. If a woman thinks you’ll try to restrict her freedom in any way, she’ll instinctively pull away from you. It’s only in times of strife and uncertainty that problems arise.
Text a Girl You Like the Right Way
You must never allow your fears and insecurities to derail what should otherwise be a straightforward seduction. With this in mind, you must be conscious of where you stand in the seduction process and how fast you respond to women. When a woman sends you messages, you must be acutely aware of how long her messages are, and also how long your messages are in response. If a woman sends you short, abrupt messages, her current level of attraction for you is low.
Never make the mistake of responding to short messages with an overly long response. If, for whatever reason, a woman sends you short messages, which indicate a severe lack of interest, simply delay your response time, replicating a similar lack of interest.
Alternatively, sending no message at all is often the perfect way to allow a sense of anxiety to creep into the woman’s mind and grab her attention.
One of the main drawbacks to modern technology is that it’s now easier than ever for women to test men, especially if you’re trying to text a girl you like, it’s easier than ever to mess things up and kill her attraction. Be aware that technology can be used to project strength and it can also be used to expose weakness—which response will you choose?