If you feel like your girlfriend has lost interest in you and is pulling away, this article will show you what to do to restore attraction and keep her interested in you.
“I sense my girlfriend losing interest in me.” I hear this all the time and this is one of the big problems that men experience in relationships.
A lot of men worry about this and really don’t know how to handle things the right way when their girlfriend suddenly pulls away from them or the girl’s interest starts to decline.
Guys suddenly start to overthink the simple things like when they should call or text their girlfriend. They overthink what they should say to her. And they worry that they aren’t good enough to hold her interest in the long-run.
This article is designed to help you overcome these fears by showing you exactly what you should do to maintain and keep your girlfriend’s interest.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in a short-term or long-term relationship, the strategies you’ll learn about in this article will show you exactly what you need to do keep your interested in a relationship with you.
Why Is Your Girlfriend Losing Interest In You?
Before we try to understand how you can keep your girlfriend interested in you, it’s important to first understand why women lost interest in men. There are lots of reasons why women lost interest in men and become bored, so this section will take a look at those reasons and explore them in more depth.
Once you understand what’s going on here, then we can learn the most effective strategies to keep your girlfriend interested in you.
It’s important to understand this, otherwise you might find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend suddenly pulls away from you out of nowhere.
One minute, everything is going great. She’s being sweet and affectionate and loving. The next minute she pulls away from you and couldn’t be less interested.
Girlfriend Lost Interest, What just happened?
The bottom line is this: you made yourself too available for her.
You were always there when your girlfriend needed you. You become boring and predictable. Now it might seem that you should be around your girlfriend all the time. It might also seem like she actually wants this. But don’t be fooled into thinking that you should be around your girlfriend all the time.
If you do this, you’re only going to end up killing her attraction for you.
A woman won’t consciously understand what is happening in her brain. Woman are “feeling” creatures, not logical. Therefore, whenever she “feels” like you’re around too much, she’s naturally going to pull away from you and display her lack of interest.
Men, being logical creatures, usually respond to this situation by going into panic mode, trying to “fix the problem.” A lot of women will tell you that they want you to spend a lot of time with them and for you to show her that you care.
Just because she says this it doesn’t mean you should actually do it. Let’s examine what’s going on here in a bit more detail and how to keep her interested.
What Are Women Interested In?
This is an important question to look at. Understanding what a woman is interested in when it comes to men is the key to maintaining her interest. Ask a million women what they look for and find interesting in men and they’ll give you a million different answers.
Fortunately, through the study of modern psychology we know two things:
(1) women don’t actually know what they want or like.
(2) there is a set of common strategies we can use as men to keep and maintain a woman’s interest.
With that said, all women will be interested in men who put themselves first.
Don’t Focus On Her
It sounds selfish, doesn’t it? Putting yourself first above your girlfriend.
Prioritizing time for yourself and doing things that will make your life better. For better or worse, this is the way that nature has designed us as human beings. Men are designed to go out into the world and hunt and gather resources. Women are designed to bear children and nurture the family.
For a man and woman to live in harmony, a man needs to be focused on gathering resources and investing in himself.
If a man doesn’t do this, then he destroys the balance of nature and is working against his own masculine energy. This is a huge turn-off for a woman.
Any man that makes a woman the focus of his world is asking for trouble.
If a man puts a woman first and makes her the most important thing in his life (always being available, always being there), then a woman’s innate nature is going to resent this and she’s going to pull away from you and lose interest in you.
So to keep a woman interested you will need to do the following things:
Give Her Great Sex
Sex in a relationship can get boring really fast.
Especially if the sex is bad and the woman isn’t enjoying it. Also, if you’re holding back then this can make the sex even worse. So why is sex so important? It’s simple. Sex is the glue that bonds a man and woman together.
If you’re not making love to your girlfriend the right way then she’s going to get bored of you and lose interest.
It’s important to remember: sex is the ultimate destination for a man and woman. It’s the closest you can get to her and it’s what mother nature has designed us to do.
If you’re not having great sex with your girlfriend then your girlfriend will lose interest in you and you won’t be able to keep her interest.
So how do you have great sex with your girlfriend?
First of all, you need to be confident in the bedroom. You need to know what you like and go after it.
Also, don’t be afraid to push boundaries and tease your girlfriend in the bedroom.
A lot of people have self-imposed boundaries when it comes to making love with their girlfriend. They say things like, “I would never do that, it’s disgusting” or “I could never do that because my girlfriend would hate it.”
The truth is, you won’t know until you try. And here’s the beautiful truth. You can’t fail. Why?
Even if you do something that your girlfriend doesn’t enjoy in bed, you will still be getting an emotional reaction out of her (this is called polarization). And to women, emotional polarization (good or bad) is never boring and always interesting.
It’s important to make sure that you’re mixing things up in the bedroom and trying new things. If you do this and pursue your girlfriend with raw sexual energy, then her biology won’t allow her to get bored of you and lose interest.
It’s also really important to create sexual tension outside the bedroom and inside the bedroom too.
What’s the best way to create sexual tension with your girlfriend?
The best tip I can give you is never to go rushing straight for her vagina straight away. The vagina should be the last stop on a beautiful journey.
You want to make sure that you focus your attention on her erogenous zones first. Spend time kissing her and caressing her neck, her ears and her thighs. This will increase your girlfriend’s sexual desire and make her want you even more.
In fact, the more you delay and tease your girlfriend, the more aroused she’s going to be and the more she’ll want you inside her.
Give Her Space
A lot’s been said about giving your girlfriend space in the Get Her Back (Action Plan).
However, giving your girlfriend space doesn’t end the moment she’s back in a relationship with you. You need to constantly create space and distance in your relationship if you want to keep your girlfriend interested in you.
Creating space is easy to do but difficult it seems to implement for most guys.
I’ve found that a lot of guys really want to spend as much time as possible with their girlfriends and they find it difficult to pull away from her.
In order to maintain a satisfying relationship with your girlfriend you need to make sure that space is something that you embrace in order to keep the attraction alive.
Here’s a good list of things you can do to keep the space and attraction alive in your relationship:
See your girlfriend every couple of days, and definitely don’t see her every day of the week (unless you’re already living together. If you’re living with your girlfriend, limit the amount of time you see her each day).
Let your girlfriend initiate contact with you most of the time via phone or text message. Don’t be the first one to message her and call her every day.
Don’t brush your teeth or go to the bathroom in front of your girlfriend.
Don’t be afraid to cancel dates on your girlfriend and take time away from her, going on holidays by yourself or with friends.
If you are able to apply these basic rules when dating your girlfriend, she will maintain a much higher interest in the relationship and find you even more attractive.
A lot of guys get a girl and decide that they’re now going to open up and tell her everything. They believe that opening up about their feelings and emotions will bring them closer to their girlfriend.
Unfortunately, the truth is the opposite. When a guy opens up and tells a girlfriend all about his feelings and his life then he’s killing all sense of mystery and intrigue.
Mystery and suspense is a big part of attraction and if a man fails to maintain an “air of mystery” then his girlfriend will start to lose interest in him.
Women don’t want an open book, they want to be able to discover who you are page-by-page, one day at at time.
If you want to keep your girlfriend interested, don’t give away your life story and feelings in long rants that will only drive your girlfriend further away from you.
Get Her To Invest In You
Getting your girlfriend to invest in you is one of the most important things you can do to maintain a stable relationship.
If you really want your girlfriend to care about you and maintain a high level of interest you have to get her to invest in you.
In order to do this you will need to get her to do simple things for you like make breakfast for you, give you a massage, buy you occasional dinners/coffee/drinks as well as have sex with you.
Anytime that your girlfriend has to put in a certain amount of effort for you she is investing in you.
If she spends 20 minutes making breakfast for you then this is a form of investment and will increase her attraction for you and her interest in you. Why?
Because in your girlfriend’s mind she will be thinking like this: I did this for him, therefore, I must really like him otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.
Getting your girlfriend to invest in you is crucial. If you’re always doing everything for her and paying for everything and she doesn’t have to make any kind of investment then that’s a turn-off.
It’s really easy to get stuck in a routine when you’re dating your girlfriend.
Everyday is pretty much the same, you hang out in the same places, you eat the same things, talk about the same things, and have the same ebb and flow to your daily life.
This predictable path is only going to result in boredom for both you and your girlfriend.
I’ve seen too many guys lose their girlfriends because they’ve settled into a predictable and boring life.
Of all the clients I know who have managed to keep their relationships strong and healthy, they all have one thing in common: that is, they’re not afraid to do something different.
Whether you take your girlfriend on a little getaway or an adventure, or go to different places, all of these things can help to keep her interested in you.
There are two huge mistakes I see men making:
1) They’re always gunning for sex and men are completely satisfied once they get a girl into the bedroom and are having sex with her. For a man, having sex with his girlfriend is where he feels complete and happy.
However, it’s important to maintain balance in the relationship and understand that a woman needs to be seduced and dated (even if it’s just a little bit) in order to keep those romantic feelings alive. Which leads me on to the second major mistake that men make…
2) Men get lazy and think they don’t have to keep dating their girlfriend after they’ve had sex with her. They believe that the hard work is now done and they can just kick back and have sex with their girlfriend whenever they want.
And you’re right, if you’re a player and just want to have sex with lots of different women (nothing wrong with that), then after you’ve had sex with her all the hard work is done.
However, if you want to keep your girlfriend interested in a long-term relationship, then you can’t afford to get too lazy. You still need to spend time with her and mix things up. Don’t be too predictable and try to introduce an element of surprise into your relationship.
Learn How To Say No
One of the most powerful words in the English language is, “No.” Being able to say “no” is what makes you a man and separates you from the boys.
There will be times when your girlfriend will test you and try to get you to do things you don’t want to do.
Even if you’re trying to do positive things like go to the gym or workout, your girlfriend might try to get you to do something you don’t want to do.
If you’re a pushover and always willing to say “yes” to her, then your girlfriend is going to lose interest in you. Being able to say “no” is so powerful because it shows your girlfriend that your both unpredictable and that you’re your own man.
It also adds the element of uncertainty to your relationship and has your girlfriend wondering what you’re going to say and do. And as a study (Harvard University, 2011) found out, women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.
Stay Calm And Handle The Drama
Whenever you’re with a woman you might find that she suddenly starts complaining out of nowhere.
One minute everything is going great and the next she’s complaining because you didn’t text her the day before, or she brings up something you did in the past.
The important thing to understand is that there doesn’t have to be a reason why your girlfriend does this. Let her blow hot and cold and don’t resist her need for drama by trying to argue with her.
(Remember, you can’t win an argument with a woman because a woman’s arguments are based on “feelings” not “logic.”)
Instead, understand that your girlfriend (and all women for that matter) crave emotional turmoil and drama in their life.
You should understand that this is something you won’t be able to eradicate from your girlfriend’s life completely.
This emotional turmoil is part of what keeps your girlfriend interested in you. If everything is running smoothly, your girlfriend is going to want to create some drama to try to spice things up a bit.
Simply sit back and enjoy the show. You can’t change her or fight her feminine nature, so just let her vent and ramble.
It’s important to listen to your girlfriend when she does this and don’t try to fix her problems when she starts talking about something that you feel is completely blown out of context or unreasonable.
The time to start worrying is when your girlfriend doesn’t put forward any effort or concern in the relationship. If your girlfriend ever gets to that point, it means that she’s emotionally checked out and no longer interested in investing in your relationship.
So let your girlfriend create her mini-dramas while you just sit back, comfortable in the knowledge that she’s doing this because she has a high level of interest in you.
Do This When Your Girlfriend Loses Interest In You
If you’re able to do all of the things listed in this article, then you’ll be able to maintain your girlfriend’s interest in you for as long as you want to stay in a relationship with her.
So to recap, here are the things you need to do to keep a girl interested and attracted to you:
– Don’t focus on her
– give her great sex
– Give her space
– Remain mysterious
– Get her to invest in you
– Be spontaneous
– Learn how to say “No”
– Handle the emotional turmoil and her need for drama