Do This If Your Girlfriend's Not Over Her Ex Boyfriend

Do This If Your Girlfriend’s Not Over Her Ex Boyfriend

If your girlfriend’s not over her ex boyfriend and you feel like she’s distracted and not focused on you, then this article will show you what to do to capture her attention and stop her pining over her ex.

There’s a reason why your girlfriend is focused on her ex boyfriend and it is well within your control to turn this situation around. However, you must grasp what is going on by identifying the signs, and then be strong in following the course if you are to succeed in bringing your girlfriend’s attention back onto you.

When you begin dating a woman, there’s a reason she chooses to be with you. That’s the first positive. You therefore have tenure and can build on that. Since you began dating her though, something has gone wrong to allow her thoughts to drift back to her ex boyfriend or ex husband. It is your influence which has allowed this to happen.

Case Study: Girlfriend Not Over Her Ex

Girlfriend Not Over Her ExDave began dating Susie. Life was pretty sweet until that magic three month mark. Now and then, in conversation, she had mentioned her ex boyfriend, Greg, but now he began to become a daily feature! Dave tolerated this for a while, as he played Mr Nice Guy.

As the weeks progressed, it began to get too much and he began to realize that Susie was way more focused on her ex boyfriend, Greg, than her relationship with him. It was clear that his Susie was not over her ex boyfriend. Dave soon learnt that Greg had dumped Susie only months before he had met her. He fixated on this and wondered about whether the timing had been a problem, or was it something else?

Next, Dave spent hours thinking about how he had treated Susie and couldn’t see anything negative at all. He had a good job with a handsome income. He had wined and dined her, bought her flowers occasionally and spent hours messaging and keeping in contact when they were apart.

“What gives?” Dave stressed.

Now, let’s flip over to Greg. He is an average looking, but confident and distant man who kept Susie wanting more. Consequently, he is attractive.

(Remember, attraction does not necessarily equate to a handsome and photographic face.)

Greg decided to move on as he just wasn’t feeling it with Susie, and so he dumped her. The moment he broke the news to Susie, Greg became a permanent feature in Susie’s thoughts–he was the man she could no longer have.

In pandering to Susie, Dave had driven her away bit by bit, as the attention became too much. Dave had become a predictable quantity and always available on tap. Therefore, her mind had reverted back to Greg. A whole element of ‘What if?’ surrounded Greg. Susie began to yearn for that which she did not have. Greg wasn’t a pest, so was not a problem to think about. Dave, on the other-hand, was omnipresent on the phone, on social media, and even in person.

As Greg had not given a satisfactory reason for dumping Susie, she felt there may be a chance to return to him and so allowed herself to think about her ex boyfriend more and more. Dave became aware of this but didn’t know what to do and risked losing Susie to her ex (or at least the standard he had set).

So what is happening here to Dave? The problem is that Dave has created a situation with Susie which pushed her away. This in turn created the opportunity and time for Susie to think about her ex and realize that she is not over her ex boyfriend. Whether this is true or not, the power of the situation lies with Dave. If he plays his cards right, he can steer Susie’s thoughts back onto him.

Why She Still Likes Her Ex Boyfriend

Get Her Focused on YouThe problem here is that your girlfriend is not over her ex boyfriend because she values him more than you. The ex is more of an attractive man. Over time, you have no doubt become “The Nice Guy.” Society has changed and within the last few decades, women have changed their tune and no longer desire the nice guy.

With more status and control over their lives, women want a challenge and to steer the course of their relationships to more exciting shores. It has since been discovered through research that nice guys finish last. Dave had become one of these nice guys and that had become boring for Susie. She had been put on a pedestal and worshipped, which soon wore off after the initial intimacy. With repetition, all vigor and intrigue from the relationship was gone.
Let’s take a look at the “Nice Guy” check list:

1) Nice guy is always kind and apologetic and sorry about everything.
2) Nice guy is always buying her things and telling her how amazing and beautiful she is.
3) Nice guy will show passive aggressive hostility over tiny little problems.
4) Nice guy is jealous and moody, but tries to mask it.

Nice Guys Don’t Get the Girl

Nice Guys Don't Get the GirlThe real truth is, women don’t want to be with a nice guy anymore. Popular culture is feeding us all a lie. The nice guy you see in the movies and read about in books is, in reality, the most unattractive and undesirable man in real life. The nice guy is a thing of the past. For Dave and Susie, the nice guy act is promoting the “girlfriend not over her ex boyfriend” scenario.

If you are in this situation where your girlfriend is not over her ex, then you need to get on your game quick. This is going to require thinking and tactics, which you can find here. If you don’t, then you will lose her to her ex. And if she keeps thinking about her ex, then:

— She will always compare you to her ex.
— She will think of him and not you.
— She will long for him to come back.
— If he comes back on the scene, she will choose him over you.
— She will become increasingly bitchy and disrespectful toward you.
— She will withhold sex and affection because she’s just not feeling it with you.

So you can see the urgency as once these roads are traveled, it will get harder to reverse the situation. You will suffer the same consequence as poor Dave.

Dave didn’t have the right tactics to deal with Susie. He unfortunately played the “Nice Guy” act all the more and ended up annoying Susie with disastrous consequences… Greg came back on the scene.

Susie messaged Greg as she felt she had nothing to lose. She was in a situation where she had a boyfriend but was happy to jump ship. As Greg was in-between girlfriends, he responded to Susie’s message and they met up. Their meet-up resulted in a night of passion and so the switch was flicked.

The following morning, Susie ended her relationship with Dave. Dave was left feeling devastated. All Dave needed was the right guidance to take a different course, and he could have kept Susie in his life.

Pull Away and Capture Her Attention

Pull Away and Capture Her AttentionIf you are chasing your girlfriend and trying to win her affection because you feel she is thinking of her ex boyfriend, you must realize that her ex was the one who pulled away from her and got her chasing him. You simply need to do the same. In doing this, you will raise your value. This is an important concept to understand.

As much as this might feel like playing games, you must take part and just see it as a method to retain attraction. Your value must exceed that of your girlfriend’s ex. You must play “Hard to Get.” Being a challenge to your girlfriend is an important part of seduction and must feature many times in your relationship. You can’t think that once you have “got the girl” within week one of dating that from then on all will run smoothly.

Knowing when to be attentive and when to pull back is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship. As stated in the European Journal of Personality, people who are less available are seen as having higher overall value even if that value is only perceived to be higher.

Therefore, those moments when you pull back and make yourself less available, are like money coming into the bank. Your value goes up and your girlfriend turns her focus onto you to re-capture your attention.

Consider this: if you admire a particular object in a shop and the salesman then tells you that this is the last object of its kind in stock, suddenly its worth doubles and you move to buy it. Scarcity drives urgency and takes over rational thought. Now the thought of “having” becomes the primary objective. The same happens in relationships. Become scarce and become desirable.

Playing hard to get requires a measure of strength and confidence, the same strength and confidence that women find attractive. Master this and you will have the best chance of getting your girlfriend’s attention back. So, in pulling away for a few days, you will find your girlfriend begins to wonder where you are and what you are up to. She will then turn her attention back onto you instead of her ex.

Another aspect to think about is being “Alpha Male.” If you’re weak around women, even if you’re rich, successful, and handsome, women will lose attraction for you. If a woman smells weakness, she’ll pull away. From here, she may revert to thinking about her ex boyfriend. Mr nice guy is the antithesis of the alpha male, the beta male–the least attractive man of all.

Play all of these tactics right and your girlfriend will not have time to be thinking of her ex but be hooked by your new and attractive persona.