If you find that your girlfriend doesn’t care about you anymore, then this article will give you the insight and approach you need to steer her round so she starts to care about you again.
The key here is that when your girlfriend no longer shows she cares about and is losing interest in you, how do you get her attention back onto you?
Unfortunately, her lack of care is one of the first signs that your girlfriend is looking to break up with you. Therefore, you must be wise and handle this situation appropriately or risk losing her forever.
Case Study: Girlfriend Doesn’t Care
Chad was in a loving and fulfilling relationship with Stacey. Everything was positive and looked rosy for their future.
They would message each other all day when they were apart. They spent most evenings and weekends together.
Luckily they had not moved in together. Chad found himself feeling short changed in their relationship. It felt like his girlfriend was losing interest and didn’t care about him so much anymore.
Stacey had slacked off from Chad’s point of view. This was disastrous as Chad had put money down for a deposit on a shared apartment for them both.
What used to be flirtatious messaging during lulls in the working day, had turned into Chad messaging a brick wall. Answers to specific questions would come many hours later and seemed flat and formal. Chad fired all sorts of follow ups, pressuring Stacey for answers.
“Oh no!” I hope to hear you all cry! The common thread in many relationship problems is “pressure.” When this becomes persistent with no let-up, it can really upset the other party.
So Stacey had got to the point where Chad was getting too much and so the boredom kicked in as she learnt to endure the expected pattern of continuous attention. This led to Chad feeling that she no longer cared about him.
Signs Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Care
If your girlfriend doesn’t care about you anymore, she will exhibit a mix of or all of the following behavior traits:
– She’s no longer affectionate towards you.
– She doesn’t ask what you’re doing.
– She doesn’t take an interest in your life.
– She doesn’t respond to you and ignores your messages.
– She is focused on herself.
– She is rude, cold and callous with your feelings.
If, like Chad, you let your relationship get to the point of predictability and being always available, it’s quite likely that your girlfriend will not care about you so much.
You will also notice that she pulls away and you will be missing out on affection leaving you with the feeling of isolation. It will be like your girlfriend doesn’t care about the relationship.
You will be left wondering, particularly after you feel you have done all the right things for her, how this situation could have been reached. Let’s look into why Stacey might have lost all care for Chad.
Why Do Women Stop Caring?
There are reasons for just about every problem. It is simple science where with an action taking place, there is a knock on effect; like tossing a pebble into a pond and causing ripples. Chad will have done something to cause Stacey to act like she doesn’t care about him.
Stacey worked in a vibrant design studio where there were many other young people, all doing their best to impress each other. It was very competitive and fed into a lively post work social scenario.
With Chad’s incessant messages checking up on her whereabouts while also hinting at how much he liked her, she was getting overwhelmed. It was just all too… much.
Scott was a particularly forward and confident lead designer in the studio and would often drop teasing comments at Stacey in the breakout area. At first, they had been annoying and slightly malicious.
Months later, Stacey found herself smiling at Scott and teasing him back. She liked the way they flirted with each other and the way he made her feel.
So you can see that Chad’s approach had become a pattern and all too monotonous. Stacey got bored and her interest went elsewhere. By contrast, Scott’s interactions were spiky and playful as opposed to worshipping and repetitive.
Scott was like a breath of fresh air. Stacey therefore became the girlfriend who didn’t care anymore as she turned her attention away from Chad onto Scott.
Here are a few other possibilities as to why your girlfriend may no longer care about you:
– She might be interested in someone else.
– She might be testing you.
– She might be upset with something you’ve done.
– She might be scarred from past relationships and is holding back and emotionally unavailable herself.
– She probably has low attraction for you.
Using this list to decipher Chad and Stacey’s relationship, we can certainly apply the first item! Scott had captured Stacey’s interest when she was bored with Chad.
This is why she didn’t care about Chad as much as she did in the past. However, something led to this happening. With this in mind, we can see that your girlfriend “is also upset with something you’ve done” is also relevant in this situation. What was it that Chad had done to upset Stacey?
Chad had pushed Stacey away by constantly contacting her and becoming the predictable “Nice Guy” boyfriend. You must not fall into this same trap. It is not a positive to maintain a “nice” state of being.
Chad had done the wrong thing. Feelings need to be kept alive and not allowed to curl up on a cushion. With this state of predicability, Stacey needed a distraction. Any external interest will always come across as a challenge and that in itself raises the blood pressure and the result is positively intoxicating.
If you don’t learn the simple methods to keep your girlfriend’s interest, you will risk losing her care and interest to another more challenging man.
She Could Be Testing You
In your situation, it could also be that your girlfriend doesn’t care about you because she is testing you for future security. Stacey wasn’t doing this to Chad, but your girlfriend could be doing this to you. By subconsciously presenting you with an uncaring dispostion, your girlfriend is putting you on the offensive.
If you fall into her trap, you will upset her and push her away. It is important that you flag her actions as a test and act accordingly. Gut reactions are often knee jerk responses and are wrong. See it as a test and hold back.
Your girlfriend could also be emotionally scarred from a previous relationship. She is getting to the point in time now that she is nervous about letting things progress unless she knows you are committed.
Therefore, she pulls away and seems uncaring, to see how you will react. Again, you need to understand the situation and be mindful of how you behave.
The last thing you want is to lose your girlfriend over an annoyingly simple and avoidable action. It could be that she doesn’t trust you yet or something you have done reminds her of a situation with an ex.
The result is her pulling away from you, resulting in this lack of care you are currently experiencing. This is her mode of self-protection. If you stand strong, you will pass this test by not going overboard in pursuit but also showing that you do care about her.
Has She Lost Attraction For You?
A common theme in relationships is “attraction.” If your girlfriend is losing attraction for you, then she will come across as uncaring as a result. This is a large topic and can be found here on developattraction.com.
In essence, if attraction is lowered from your girlfriend’s perspective, it will result in disaster. The fact that you think she no longer cares about you almost pales into insignificance next to the fact that she is no longer attracted to you. So what do you do?
Get yourself educated so you don’t hit the liquor bottle, thinking that your girlfriend doesn’t care about you anymore.
With a girlfriend who doesn’t care about you, you need to act fast before the point of no return. There really is no use in trying to work out when that point is as it is imperative to act as soon as you realize that feelings aren’t right and the discomfort has crept in.
Ultimately, you notice a week in that your messages are hitting an open pit and nothing resounding is coming back from your girlfriend.
Get Your Girlfriend to Care About You
When you first notice an uncaring attitude and lack of communication, give it a week to be sure that she doesn’t pick up again. During that time, slack off a bit and analyze your own situation and how you have been acting in the month leading up to this point.
You really need to be brutal with yourself and honestly own up to your actions. Look at your messaging app and look at the balance of messages between you both and how often you are communicating.
Once you are sure you are reading the situation correctly and your girlfriend really is not caring towards you, then here are some ideas to fix the situation:
– Mirror her emotions and show her an equal amount of disinterest.
– People want what they can’t have, become less available and give her the impression your attention is transferred onto someone else.
– She thinks she has higher value than you, you need to bring her value down and raise your value.
– Start behaving in a more attractive way.
– Possibly introduce dread as a way to stimulate attraction in extreme circumstances.
Any one of these could be enough to spin your girlfriend around. Just be patient and don’t rush these tactics.
Chad eventually got wise. It dawned on him when he checked over his messages to Stacey, that it was heavily one-sided. He saw the problem and actually laughed at his over-bearing persistence and burdening questions. He felt he had become a stalker!
The first step for Chad was to slam on the communication brakes. Being that he had been messaging almost hourly, all day, Stacey immediately noticed a whole afternoon with no correspondence. That first evening, Chad simply sent one message to Stacey, after the many hours of silence.
It wasn’t apologetic or crawling. Nor was it a check-in. In fact it was genius. Although it wasn’t to work immediately, there was an instant effect. Chad simply wrote: “Stacey, I’m going to take a break from us and see how I go with my freedom. Chad”
Stacey was relieved when she read the message, but little did she realize, a little seed was planted in her head. For the next week, Stacey felt free and continued to flirt with Scott at work.
Chad struggled with ignoring his phone but had been told that this method was well worth the effort and could well pay off. The time away from her proved to be useful reflection and the beginning of a valuable lesson.
Scott began to make moves on Stacey in the office toward the end of the week, hoping to catch her in time for the weekend. Stacey agreed to a date for that Saturday with him.
Slightly nervous and with a distraction at the back of her mind (that seed!), Stacey dressed up a little and met Scott in a local bar.
Getting carried away and drunk, Scott began to pressure Stacey in the bar and she felt a little uncomfortable with his awkward advances across the table.
Excusing herself to the bathroom, she let out a deep breath and checked her phone. She now realized that she had been anxiously checking her phone incessantly for the last two days. She bit the bullet and messaged Chad: “Hey, what are you up to?”
Chad was out with his friends in a bar across town. He was blown away to receive a message from Stacey. He kept his cool and didn’t respond.
Genius! Chad had mirrored Stacey’s emotions by pulling away and showed her that he didn’t care either. What happens in this situation is that your girlfriend would initially sigh relief and embrace the sudden freedom.
Although there is no formal ending of the relationship, the assumption from her point of view is that the end is now facilitated.
Chad’s cunning “seed” was leaving Stacey with the message which implied he would be staying away and that he might pursue other options with his freedom. By being strong and not communicating after that moment, he solidified his stance.
A week passed, time enough for Stacey to get used to Chad not being there. This created the scarcity factor. She felt able to test the waters by going on a date with Scott, but that seed had grown into a tree now.
In messaging Chad from the bathroom and then not getting a response, the deal was sealed. Stacey didn’t get what she wanted—a reply from Chad. Without much effort, Chad had now raised his attraction level by increasing his value.
Chad finally responded to Stacey’s message the following day, on Sunday afternoon. He was casual and simply stated that he was out at the local bar with the guys.
Stacey knew very well that this venue was ripe with sexily dressed young women, and the thought riled her. Chad’s message didn’t push for meeting up at all. That was also a wise move.
Needless to say, Chad had rescued his relationship just in time. Stacey was the one to reach out and suggest they go on a date and make things work again.
This time around, Chad was smart enough to be measured with his attention, making sure to allow moments of friction to recreate desire and pull her back into a caring relationship.
Try and not let your situation with your uncaring girlfriend get to that point which Chad did. He was lucky to turn his situation around. It is far better to recognize the signs earlier and act upon them.