How to Talk to Girls

How to Talk to Girls and Create Instant Attraction

Talking to girls can be a nerve-wracking experience. Having the courage to toss rejection aside, however, inspires admiration and attraction from women. This article will show you how to talk to girls and create instant attraction with women.

How to Talk to Girls (Step by Step):

  • Women want you to talk to them
  • Let her talk and listen
  • Be natural and relaxed
  • Talk about things in the immediate environment
  • Storytelling ability is attractive to women
  • Light, humorous conversation works best
  • Avoid boring, mundane topics
  • Don’t talk about your relationship with her

Men who have the confidence to talk to girls immediately set themselves apart from other men.

And although talking to girls is often a nerve-wracking experience, the rewards for having the courage to toss rejection aside and go after what you want inspires admiration and attraction in equal measure.

Of course, most men prefer to take the safe approach, opting to get to know a girl first before they try to talk to her. As a man, however, it’s always better to state your intentions without fear of reprisal.

Yes, you can become friends with a woman, then try to seduce her later on. Although this often leads to a loss of attraction, as failure to take action and talk to women with boldness usually results in metaphoric castration.

But these are sensitive times you tell yourself. What if she rejects me, or worse, doesn’t talk to me?

A woman will never hold it against you for making your intentions clear and expressing interest. If you have the courage to talk to a girl, she will respect that.

Approach a woman with boldness and it’s unlikely she’ll ever forget you. On the other hand, the man who waits for women to talk to him in an almost catatonic, subdued state inspires neither interest nor attraction.

Case Study: Boldness Inspires Attraction

Case Study: Boldness Inspires AttractionSabrina had only just broken up with her ex when she met Robbie online. The moment she started talking to Robbie, she felt an instant connection. When Sabrina finally got around to meeting Robbie, she was delighted to discover that she not only liked him online, she liked him even more in person. Robbie was fun to be around and the fact he was good looking only made him appear even more attractive.

As the days went by, Sabrina and Robbie grew closer and closer. And the more time they spent together, the more they grew to like each other. It was now only a matter of time before they took their relationship to the next level.

* * *

One day as Sabrina was walking through the subway on her way to work, she heard an unfamiliar voice call out beside her—“I like your dress.” Sabrina turned and saw a man standing beside her. “That’s my favorite color.”

“Really?” Sabrina laughed. “You like red?”

“I love it.”

“You don’t think it’s too bright?”

“It looks awesome.”


“My name’s Paul by the way.”


“Nice to meet you,” Paul shook Sabrina’s hand and continued to engage her in conversation. They chatted for a couple of minutes and Paul made no attempt to hide the fact that he was attracted to Sabrina. After all, why else would he stop and talk to her in the middle of the subway?

* * *

When Sabrina got home all she could think about was the confident stranger who’d asked for her number. It wasn’t every day that a man talked to her with such charm and confidence.

Nowadays, it seemed that most men preferred to meet women online. Unfortunately for Robbie, he had no idea that in the space of an afternoon Sabrina’s attraction for him had greatly diminished. Sabrina couldn’t help it. Every time she thought about Paul, she smiled. Boy was he confident.

On the other hand, she had no way of knowing whether Robbie was confident or not. He was just some guy she had met online. What Paul did was something extraordinary—he had singled her out and made her feel special.

You can’t seduce a woman if you don’t talk to her. You might see an attractive woman in the park, but if you only look at her, you’ll do nothing to establish a connection or build rapport.

Your ability to connect with women on an emotional level allows you to take the interaction into the realm of the physical and beyond.

Women crave emotional connection. They live and breathe it, yet many men are still too timid and apprehensive when it comes to opening up the channel of communication, waiting instead for that perfect moment. There is, of course, no such thing as a perfect moment.

There are only opportunities—opportunities that are taken and opportunities that are missed.

Case Study: Make Your Intentions Clear

How to Talk to GirlsA group of international college students were staying in a hostel not far from the center of Rome. It was there, in the hostel, that the students met an Italian by the name of Paolo. Paolo was a modern-day Casanova, he loved women and he loved to flirt. The girls in the hostel, however, were already aware of Paolo’s overly flirtatious behavior. And within the space of 24 hours, Paolo’s reputation had been sullied and tarnished.

Behind his back, the girls called Paolo a “creep” and a “pervert.” After all, girls will be girls. But Paolo didn’t care, he’d heard it all before. Instead, his attention was focused entirely on one girl and one girl only—Imogen.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” Paolo said as he looked deep into Imogen’s eyes.

“I want to kiss your beautiful lips,” Imogen said as she told her friends what Paolo had said to her when she came back to the hostel.

“He said that? Oh, my God, what a creep.”

“Weirdo, avoid,” said Janice.

“So nasty.”

“Ughhh,” Imogen said. “Who does he think I am?”

As the girls sat around the hostel bar, having a good laugh at Paolo’s expense, they were completely unaware that later that night, Imogen would end up sharing the same bed as Paolo.

Paolo’s bold, confident approach would ultimately prove too much for Imogen to resist. For as her friends sat around, talking about what a creep Paolo was, Imogen’s imagination had started to run wild thinking about all the wonderful things Paolo might do to her.

In a hostel full of horny young men and women, Paolo had been the only one who’d expressed any real interest in her. His romantic overtures made her feel alive. And although Imogen and her friends had been quick to dismiss Paolo and label him a “creep,” Imogen knew her friends were just jealous because she was getting all the attention and they weren’t.

Paolo knew what he wanted and he knew a beautiful woman when he saw one. Ultimately, Paolo’s direct approach was enough to secure a night of passion that Imogen would never forget.

A great approach is one of the most important elements of seduction. When a confident man approaches a woman, he makes her feel attractive and alive. And in the world of seduction, there’s no greater aphrodisiac than confidence.

As such, knowing how to talk to a girl and how to approach her is the strongest and most attractive form of introduction you can make.

The confident man knows there’s no such thing as a woman who’s “out of his league.”

A man with sufficient value can talk to any woman no matter how attractive or unattainable she might appear to be—all that’s required is the right approach.

Talk to Girls Naturally

Approach Women NaturallyOne of the most effective ways to talk to girls is to use an environmental approach. An environmental approach allows you to talk to girls using elements within the natural environment to make a woman feel more at ease. Imagine, for a moment, that you’ve just seen an attractive woman at the gym. You want to know how talk to her, but you don’t know what to say or how to break the ice.

Using the environmental approach, there are literally thousands of things you can say to a woman in this situation.

An example of an environmental approach in the gym would be to say: “Hey, how’s your workout?” The same environment-specific approach can be used in the supermarket: “Hey, do you know where the [chocolate/milk/fish] is?”

Your approach doesn’t have to be clever or entertaining. Instead, it’s always better to talk to women as though you’re talking to a close friend.

Also, take note that women have a propensity to wear interesting trinkets and accessories. They style their hair in unique ways, sport tattoos, and color their nails.

The next time you go out in public, take a moment to look at the women around you.

What makes her stand out? What is it about her that catches your eye? Is it an item of clothing, her earrings, her hair, or even her shoes? All of these items are talking points that allow you to approach women in a natural and relaxed way.

An Easy Way to Talk to Girls

To give you an idea of how this works in practice, consider the following pickup lines as a great way to start a conversation and talk to women:

— “Nice shoes.”
— “I like your perfume.”
— “That’s a cool tattoo.”
— “That bag looks heavy.”
— “What’re you drinking?”
— “That’s my favorite color, I love [insert color].”

Simple, innocuous comments within the context of the woman’s immediate environment work best here.

There’s no better way to signal outcome indifference and confidence than a light throwaway comment to disarm a woman and make her feel at ease.

Remember, conversation is fluid as opposed to static. That’s why it’s always better to use an approach that can be adapted to your natural environment.

The Best Pickup Lines to Use

The Best Pickup Lines to UseIf you talk to women in a positive, relaxed way, you communicate strength. But still the issue of what to say looms large. Trying to figure out how to talk to girls when you first meet them and what pickup lines work best is a question that’s plagued men for decades. Now science can finally shed some much-needed insight into the conversation. One study found that women prefer it when men approach them with a simple: “Hi” or “Hello.”

Other effective pickup lines include the honest and direct: “Since we’re both sitting alone, would you care to join me?” or “Do you want to dance?”

Pickup lines such as: “Hey, what’s your sign?” or “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?” were seen as less attractive, disingenuous ways to start a conversation.

That being said, you should simply use pickup lines as a way to assess whether or not a woman is interested in talking to you. Watch closely and you’ll notice that a woman expresses all her intentions and desires through her actions.

If a woman is open and interested in talking to you, she’ll stop to engage you in conversation; if she isn’t interested, she’ll move away from you—it’s that simple.

Case Study: Breaking the Ice

Simon saw the new waitress standing behind the counter as soon as he walked into the coffee shop. The moment he saw her, he was smitten. The waitress had long, flowing black hair and big brown puppy dog eyes. If I could marry a girl like that, I’d be happy for the rest of my life, Simon thought as he stepped up to the counter.

“What can I get you?” the waitress said, flashing a smile.

“Can I get a tall mochaccino please?”

“One tall mocha coming right up. Would you like anything else with that?” the waitress said.

For what felt like an eternity, Simon didn’t know what to say. He looked at the waitress’s nametag—Christy. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mind drew a blank. In the end, all he could muster was a simple, “Thanks, that’s all.”

“Here’s your change,” Christy said.

Simon looked at the waitress. He didn’t want to leave, not yet. He wanted to say something funny or humorous, something that might impress her, but he couldn’t think of anything smart enough or funny enough to say. Sensing an awkward silence, Simon stepped away from the counter and waited for his mochaccino to arrive.

Over the next couple of weeks, Simon became a regular visitor at the coffee shop, coming almost every day to see Christy. But every time Simon ordered his coffee, he became increasingly frustrated by his own inability to get Christy to open up and talk to him.

* * *

The following week, Simon was in the coffee shop, having just ordered another mochaccino, when Derrick walked in. Derrick saw Christy standing behind the counter and liked what he saw straight away.

As Derrick stepped up to the counter, he looked at the menu and noticed a wide selection of reserve coffee. Derrick paused for a moment, then turned to Christy and asked her what coffee she liked best.

Christy let out a small, girlish giggle, and for the next five minutes, she spoke at length about all the different types of coffee they served.

At one point, Derrick stopped Christy by touching her briefly on the arm to ask, “Where does your coffee come from.” That’s a dumb question, Simon thought as he listened in on their conversation.

Christy laughed and told Derrick they sourced their coffee from Jamaica, Nicaragua, Kenya, Java, and Costa Rica—her favorite being Costa Rican coffee. Derrick smiled and told Christy he had “never been to Costa Rica but he wouldn’t mind a taste of it.”

Simon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was furious. This guy had only just met Christy and now she was giggling and obviously having a great time talking to this guy. Life isn’t fair, Simon thought as he walked out the door and threw his mochaccino in the trash.

A lot of men assume that women don’t want to be approached and “hit on.” This is true in so much that women don’t want to be “hit on” in a crude or unflattering way. Women also don’t want to be hit on by unattractive men.

A woman will, of course, be flattered if a man with high value talk to her. As previously mentioned, women are biologically wired to receive men, they just want to be approached by the right kind of men.

Women live their lives in a waiting state. They wait for men to talk to them; they wait for men to approach them; and they wait for men to show interest, giving them the opportunity to either accept the man or reject him.

A woman only resents it when a man shows interest in her if the man is weak, timid, or unattractive.

You’ll notice, however, that it’s usually unattractive women who are the first to label men “creeps” and “perverts.”

How often do you see a beautiful, woman at a feminist rally? It’s the unattractive woman with low value who lashes out in anger and frustration. Her cries of feminism are, in reality, a cry for attention.

A beautiful woman doesn’t need to call attention to herself. For the most part, attractive women love men and enjoy their company. Their experience with society and men is usually a positive one.

Feminine women respect the laws of nature and they understand that it’s the man’s role to approach her and talk to her.

Overcome Approach Anxiety

Overcome Approach AnxietyApproach anxiety is the amplified fear of rejection, and like all fears, it exists primarily within the context of the mind. Approach anxiety can be so overwhelming it often induces paralysis in men. The most stifling aspect of approach anxiety is not knowing what to say. Take a moment, however, to imagine that your job involves talking to women. Every day you have to interview women for a survey about beauty products. You notice that your fear of rejection is greatly diminished when you ask women to fill out the survey.

It doesn’t matter whether women talk to you or not because they’re not rejecting you personally, they’re rejecting the survey. In this situation, it’s easy to know what to say, and it’s easy to move on to the next woman.

Now imagine you have to talk to a woman because you want to get to know her in a more intimate way.

You think about all the things you could say and you’re instantly crippled by anxiety. What if she rejects me? What if she laughs at me? What if she humiliates me? And once more, your fear and anxiety stops you from talking to yet another beautiful woman.

Case Study: Attraction Favors the Brave

Case Study: Attraction Favors the BraveAdam was having lunch with Josh when he noticed Josh making eye contact with someone behind him.
“What is it?” Adam asked.
“That girl keeps looking at me.”
“Which girl?”
“The one sitting behind you.”
Adam turned to see a beautiful girl sitting by herself at the table behind them. “Why don’t you go talk to her,” Adam said.
Josh shoveled a mouthful of pasta into his mouth. “Hmm, you think that’s a good idea?”

“Sure, why not? She’s obviously into you.”

Josh looked doubtful. “I dunno, man. I wouldn’t know what to say. Oh boy, she just looked over again. She’s really cute.”

“Dude, you gotta go talk to her, she likes you.”

Josh looked down at his food. “Nah, she’s probably not interested anyway.”

“Trust me, if she looks at you and smiles, she’s interested. She wants you to go and talk to her.”



“Could you do it for me? I mean, I really don’t know what to say,” Josh said.

“You sure?”

“Oh man, she just looked over again.”

“Alright,” Adam said. “But once I break the ice you better get your ass up there.”

“You got it.”

When the girl looked up again, she was surprised to see Adam, not Josh coming towards her.

“Hi,” Adam said. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. My friend, he’s a slow eater… he just asked me to come over and keep you company.” Adam waved over at Josh. “I’m Adam by the way.”

“Evelyn,” the girl said with a tentative smile.

“Nice to meet you.” Adam held out his hand and continued to engage Evelyn in conversation. A couple of minutes passed by before Josh finally finished his meal and came over to join them.

“He’s right. I am a slow eater,” Josh said as he rubbed his stomach.

Evelyn glanced at Josh, then turned her attention back to Adam. “You were saying?”

Despite Adam’s best effort to include his friend in the conversation, Evelyn appeared to have lost all interest in Josh, even though he was the one who’d initially caught her eye. Her attention and interest was now focused entirely on Adam. As far as Evelyn was concerned, Josh was no longer a contender.


What happened? One minute, Evelyn was smiling and flirting with Josh, letting him know she found him attractive, practically inviting him to come over to speak to her. The next minute she was entirely focused on Adam. How could this happen? In one word: confidence.

It was Adam, not Josh, who had the guts to go up and talk to her. It didn’t matter that Josh was better looking, his hesitation communicated weakness. It was now too late to redeem the situation. The moment Josh allowed Adam to speak on his behalf was the moment Evelyn lost all attraction for him.

Missed opportunity hurts more than rejection. When your mind is flooded with doubt, it’s important to remember that women want to be seduced. A woman might appear busy, filling her day with an endless array of activities. This doesn’t change the fact that most women are starved for attention.

Missed Opportunity Hurts More than Rejection

A woman wants to live her life like it’s a movie. A movie filled with drama, suspense, and romance. Her movie, however, is not of the gentle Disney variety. Her movie is much more brutish in nature. Women fantasize about being swept off their feet by a strong, confident man who’s unable to resist her.

Keep in mind, no one is exempt from the daily grind of life, women included.

Not even the most beautiful women are exempt from mundane tasks like sleeping, eating, working, and shopping. The sheer mind-numbing monotony of everyday life instills in women an insatiable desire for romance and passion.

As a man, you must simply be aware of this desire. Women are constantly looking for stimulation and attention.

If a woman believes your presence will bring passion and excitement into her life, she’ll gladly receive you and welcome your approach.

Keep in mind, women have evolved over thousands of years to respond to you as a man and find you attractive. If you want to get to know a girl, you have to know how to talk to girls first.

The Power of Words

how to talk to girls and create instant attraction

A man and woman sit next to each other in a quiet bar. “Who’s the most important person in your life right now?” the man says.

The woman thinks for a moment. “Person? Well, my parents, my family, my friends, umm, the people close to me,” she says with a smile. “How about you, who’s the most important person in your life?”

The man looks deep into the woman’s eyes and says only one word, “You.” The woman flinches. “I might not see you again, but right now you’re here with me and I’m here with you. You’re the most important person in my life right now.” And with that the woman falls completely under the man’s spell. Such is the power of words.

It’s not uncommon for a man to become weak and vulnerable in the presence of a beautiful woman.

Indeed, a woman’s beauty is her main asset. And just as men have a weakness for beauty, women have a weakness for words.

Women, being primarily auditory creatures, are influenced more than anything by what they hear as opposed to what they see. This is in sharp contrast to men who tend to focus on what they see as opposed to what they hear.

It doesn’t matter how far along in the seduction process you are, whether you’re dating a girl for the first time or you’ve been dating her for years, the way you talk to a girl should always be light and relaxed.

Serious talk is anti-seductive and the death knell of attraction. Talking about serious subjects (like business, the economy, and politics) does nothing to stimulate attraction or inspire interest in women.

If you feel the need to brag about your achievements or about how great and successful you are, a girl will sense your need to impress.

The confident man doesn’t feel the need to brag or talk about his achievements; instead, he lets his behavior and actions speak for themselves.

When you think about how to talk to a girl, it’s important not to overthink what you say. All you have to do is remain relaxed and open to the fluidity that is human conversation.

Storytelling Ability is Attractive to Women

Storytelling Ability is Attractive to WomenA study published in the Journal of Personal Relationships made headlines when it claimed that men who have strong storytelling abilities are perceived to be more powerful, high status, and attractive to women. This is particularly true when a woman is considering a man for a long-term relationship.

The study suggests that men who are good storytellers can convey social intelligence in a way that demonstrates high-status and value. However, strong storytelling ability was found to have no effect on women who were looking for short-term relationships.

Still, another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men who were more prosocial and outgoing were rated more attractive compared to less prosocial men.

The key to building attraction with words and communicating with a girl, according to a study published in the Journal of Personal Relationships, is to tell “fluid” stories packed with “lively vocabulary” as opposed to telling stories that are boring, uninteresting, and highly detailed. In other words, keep it interesting and never labor your point.

Men have a natural tendency to want to talk to girls logically. Women, however, prefer to engage their emotions when they communicate.

The ability to talk about a variety of topics and explore deeper feelings is a significant component of female communication.

The man who engages his emotions and feelings and “lets go” in conversation has a distinct and significant advantage when it comes to building attraction.

In fact, being able to talk naturally about a wide variety of topics is a key marker of intelligence.

You don’t have to talk about intelligent topics or lace your conversations with facts, but you do need to engage a girl’s emotions and speak about various topics in a fluid and engaging way.

Studies show that engaging conversationalists are seen as more attractive compared to dull, inhibited conversationalists who are viewed as not only less attractive but less likable as well.

There’s a reason why good communicators find it easier to seduce women. They know how to talk and what they say is never boring.

The charming conversationalist has no qualms talking about things that are controversial or politically incorrect.

Men with lively conversation styles usually live lives filled with adventure and risk.

Attractive men go out into the world and collect wonderful stories and memories along the way. Their ability to regale a woman with their adventures and use colorful language is simply a by-product of living a full and interesting life, something that every man should aspire to.

Avoid Boring, Mundane Conversation

Avoid the Boring and MundaneWomen fall for charming men, not because these men are necessarily handsome or particularly successful, but because these men know how to talk to girls and use words to their advantage. Men who can tell stories and amusing anecdotes hold a significant advantage in the realm of seduction. Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and SUNY Buffalo confirmed this theory with a series of long-running experiments.

The researchers discovered that women were more attracted to men who had good storytelling abilities compared to men who rarely told stories. Men who were able to recount memorable experiences, anecdotes or stories were perceived as more socially intelligent and desirable.

Furthermore, the researchers found that a man’s ability to use words skillfully to entertain and charm indicates that the man was more likely to be popular and have good leadership potential.

It should be noted that using words to charm doesn’t require great skill or unassailable talent. To charm a girl, all you have to do is engage her on a wide variety of topics to elicit an emotional response.

To strengthen the connection between yourself and a girl, you mustn’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side, if only for a moment.

No one likes to be around people who appear too perfect and in control all the time. If you appear too perfect, you run the risk of alienating women as well as the people around you.

Instead, you must show occasional moments of vulnerability by opening up and revealing small, intimate details about your life. Moments of candid self-disclosure can also help to lower a woman’s defenses.

Still, you must remember not to reveal too much information too soon. When you disclose personal information, you must only let a woman catch a brief glimpse of your soul before closing yourself back up again.

Indeed, it’s been found that brief moments of candid self-disclosure allow a woman to feel greater levels of trust and comfort.

If you want to create a close connection with a woman, there’s no better way to achieve this than to ask the occasional penetrating question peppered with selective self-disclosure.

All humans have insecurities and frustrations that we must deal with on a daily basis. Such is the nature of life.

Your ability to show moments of empathy tinged with vulnerability is an endearing quality in a harsh and unforgiving world.

If you truly want to talk to a girl and connect with her, first you must learn to relate to her through shared experience and emotion.

This is one reason why books and movies are such popular forms of entertainment. Humans have an insatiable appetite for stories. Stories are the means by which we relate to the world and the people around us.

Don’t Talk Yourself Out of Attraction

When talking to a girl, you must give her the chance to open up and talk about herself. Talking about herself is, after all, a woman’s favorite topic. And the more a woman talks about herself, the more you cultivate an aura of mystery. You listen to her with intent and get to know her innermost thoughts. This, in turn, allows you to connect with her on a deeper level. Yet still she knows almost nothing about you.

Who are you? What are you thinking? What do you want? Women are curious by nature and the more information you withhold, the more curious she becomes. And once you add flattery into the equation, the effect becomes almost intoxicating.

Imagine for a moment that you’ve just been introduced to your friend’s colleague Jim. A couple of days later, your friend tells you that Jim thought you were “interesting” and “funny.” As a result, you can’t help but like Jim even though you don’t know him from Adam. This is the power of the likability effect.

A group of researchers, investigating the likability effect, conducted a study where two strangers were asked to have a conversation with each other. One person was a participant while the other person was an actor working for the researchers.

After the participant and actor had finished their conversation, they were asked to make a brief statement, rating the other person. After making their statements, each person was then allowed to read what the other person wrote about them.

The results of the study showed that when the actor rated the other person highly and said positive things about them, the other person was more likely to feel the same way and “like” the actor in response.

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

how to talk to girls anywhereWomen always find it hard to resist flattery and attention. The key is to find something about the woman that you like and talk to her about this. Is it her hair, her smell, her clothes, or her general sense of style and elegance that you find appealing? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to vocalize it and let the woman know what it is you like about her.

When you tell a girl, in no uncertain terms, that you’re attracted to her and find her desirable, you exploit the power of the likability effect.

Flattery will get you everywhere, and a well-placed compliment can easily disarm even the most challenging woman. The key, as always, is to keep a woman off-balance and remain unpredictable.

You should never shower a woman with too many compliments; instead, you must hold back just enough to allow an element of doubt to creep into the woman’s mind and make her wonder whether or not you really do like her. Uncertainty, after all, is more attractive than certainty.

Don’t Rush Intimacy

Don't Rush IntimacyThe moment you talk to a girl, it’s advisable to keep the conversation light and relaxed. Talk to her like you would talk to a close friend. There’s no need to rush the interaction by trying to get intimate too soon. Yes, one night stands can and do happen, but usually only after a man has spent at least a couple of hours interacting with the woman first, even then a one night stand is never guaranteed.

One of the most famous studies in psychology, carried out on a college campus in the 1980s, proved that the odds of getting immediate gratification from women was, surprisingly, not even 50 percent, but closer to zero percent.

In the study, attractive men and women were asked to approach complete strangers, posing the question: “Would you go to bed with me tonight?”

The results of the study showed that 70 percent of men agreed to the woman’s request to go to bed with her that night. On the other hand, zero percent of women agreed to the man’s request to go to bed.

In case you think these findings are the result of a more conservative Anglo-Saxon culture, think again. The same study was replicated in liberal France with exactly the same result. Zero French women agreed to go to bed with a male stranger, even when the man was physically handsome.

Women want intimacy just as much as men do, they just want it when they’re ready and within the confines of a safe environment (drugs and alcohol notwithstanding).

How to Talk to Girls in a Relationship

When a man spends a lot of time talking about his feelings and his emotions as well as seeking clarity and certainty in the relationship, he unwittingly kills attraction.

Highly responsive men believe that if they talk about their feelings, they will be able to form a strong connection with a woman and get her to commit to them.

They believe that their affirmations of love will make the woman feel more secure and likely to enter into a relationship with them. In reality, all these men end up doing is creating the perception that they are desperate and needy.

The list of responsive traits which include: providing for a woman, being nurturing, kind, emotionally available, relationship focused, needy, clingy have been shown to make a man less attractive and desirable to women.

Anytime you find yourself focused on a relationship and attempting to lock a woman down into some form of commitment, you must understand that you will be met with resistance and you will lower a woman’s natural attraction for you at the same time.

There is the illusion that a man must be relationship focused to satisfy some parameters that will make the woman feel safe and secure.

Some men believe that they have to lock a woman into commitment to keep her around. This kind of behavior reeks of insecurity and stems from a place of extreme weakness.

Women can smell fear and weakness a mile away. A desperate attempt to lock a woman down in a relationship will only push her further away from you and lead to even more frustration.

Talking Connects People

The most natural thing in the world is for men and women to come together as one. In fact, you could argue that women desire this more than men because relationships are the centerpiece of a woman’s life.

Women want you to take the initiative and start a conversation. You must revel in the fact that seduction is filled with anxiety and tension for the ability to overcome this anxiety is what separates you from other men.

All seductions start with a spark—a spark that lights the fire of attraction. Whatever you want out of a relationship, whether it’s a short-term relationship or marriage, you must be able to talk to a girl first to capture her attention and start the seduction process.