Men often try to lock women into commitment because they’re scared of losing the woman to another man. This is a big mistake. If you rush the seduction process, you risk losing a woman altogether.
In the grand cathedral that is your relationship, you must consider how you construct your temple. Do you build your temple like a cage to trap a woman?
Or do you let a woman construct her temple around you, knowing full well that no matter what she does, she can never own you for you’re a man who’s born free and will remain free until the day you die.
Case Study: ‘Til Love Do Us Apart
Vanessa and Eric couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The sex was fantastic and their relationship was full of excitement and passion. Vanessa could tell Eric was infatuated with her, and it was intoxicating to be around someone who found her so attractive. Nevertheless, Vanessa was surprised to hear Eric confess his love only a month into the relationship. Eric said he couldn’t imagine living without her and he was ready to settle down with someone he truly loved.
This was music to Vanessa’s ears. Her ex-boyfriends had all been horrible, selfish men who only cared about themselves. Now, finally, here was a man who genuinely loved her and wanted to be in a committed relationship.
You can imagine Eric’s surprise when a couple of weeks later Vanessa told him she needed space. Confused, Eric fell into a blind panic. Why was Vanessa pulling away from him now when all he’d done was show her love and devotion? Something wasn’t right.
When Eric confronted Vanessa, she apologized for pulling away. She told Eric it wasn’t his fault. “You’re a great guy and you deserve to be with a woman who loves you and respects you.”
Overcome with emotion, Eric began to tear up. “But we’re so great together,” Eric said.
“We were, we are… I don’t know what happened… I just need some time to myself,” Vanessa replied. And she wasn’t lying. Vanessa genuinely didn’t know why she had lost attraction for Eric. She couldn’t understand her feelings and was at an utter loss to explain what was going on. All she knew was that she needed space and needed time to herself.
In reality, Eric had slowly killed attraction by continually expressing his desire to be in a committed relationship. This told Vanessa that Eric wanted the relationship more than she did.
After a couple of weeks, Vanessa started to realize that Eric was fundamentally weak and relationship focused. He was the polar opposite of what a confident man should be. Vanessa knew strength when she saw it and Eric was anything but strong.
At the start of a blossoming romance, it’s easy to get swept away by your emotions only to realize later that the relationship is moving too fast. It must be the man’s fault, the woman reasons, for only a weak man would allow himself to be ensnared so quickly with such little resistance.
Never Give Your Love Too Easily
When a woman comes to realize that the man is the one who’s always expressing his love and devotion, alarm bells start ringing. You’re the one who’s always reaching out to touch her, seeking warmth and comfort in her embrace. Once, twice, and it barely registers. But slowly, over time the message couldn’t be clearer: you care more; you need her more; and as a result, she comes to the sudden realization that you want the relationship more than she does. This is the primary reason why you must never rush the seduction process.