How To Turn A "Girl" Friend Into A Girlfriend

How To Turn A “Girl” Friend Into A Girlfriend

Do you want to turn that hot girl friend into your girlfriend? If so, this article will who you how to approach this delicate situation the right way.

Steps to Turn a Friend Into a Girlfriend

  • Don’t confess your feelings
  • Express interest through action, not words
  • Plant intimate thoughts in her head
  • Start touching her and flirting with her
  • Understand your friendship might change forever

Before we dive deeper into this topic, let’s take a look at an email from a reader who is struggling to turn get his friend to see him as a romantic possibility.

(Note: all names and personal information have been changed for privacy reasons.)

Hi Chris, I need help turning this girl I’ve known for the past four years as a friend into my girlfriend. Every time throughout the years she would call when in town and we’d grab dinner or go to a party or club. I even went to Spain to hang with her and her ex-boyfriend for a few days a couple of years ago. I had zero interest in getting together with her at that time. 

We hang out a lot. And Getting so much closer over the past couple of months after she recently broke up with her ex. She starts telling me for the past month she loves me so much. I tell her I love her. She came over one night and I was telling her how hot she is and she said want to feel it! And I just grabbed it.  Anyway, long story short, we had lots of great banter the other night and I went to kiss her. She said “come on Stan, we are brother and sister sister.” It sucks I need to turn this romantic. Thanks, Stan

Friends Into Lovers

You have to make a choice here. Do you keep your girl friend as a friend or do you try to transition into something more serious and risk losing her? 

Remember, the moment you transition to a romantic relationship the nature of the relationship changes. Your friend will behave completely differently once you make your intentions clear.

She will start to test you (which she wouldn’t do if she was just your friend). This is the danger and something you must be aware of.

That being said, if your friend sticks around and she keeps wanting to see you and hang out with you then she definitely has romantic interest in you.

If you want to turn your friend into your girlfriend, It would be a mistake to approach this in terms of asking her to date you or confess your feelings for her.

This never works. Instead, you want to charge the interactions between the two you and spark attraction. You can do this by cross boundaries, flirting, and plant the seed of “something more” in her mind.

How do you take this further? Tell her you wonder what it would be like to kiss her or be intimate with her.

Watch how she responds. She might feel strange, but it doesn’t matteryou are simply planting the thought in her head, and she will think about it. Even if she is resistant at first, your friend will think about what you said and either accept or reject this new idea.

Transitioning to an intimate relationship with someone you’ve known as a friend is tough because over time you develop a friendship and become like brother and sister.

The only way to smooth this transition is to make sure that you keep flirting and pushing the boundaries, physically and emotionally. 

Touch your “girl” friend on the arm, wrist, back, waist and watch closely to see if she pulls away. If she doesn’t resist, go in close and try to smell her neck or hair, then transition to kissing her on the neck and see how she reacts.

If she enjoy it, progress further. If she pulls away, simply tell her that she smells great.

Escape the Friend Zone

You’ve got to constantly test the boundaries here and push for more intimacy, otherwise you will remain friends until someone else comes along and sweeps her off her feet.

If your friend keeps wanting to see you and hang out, that is the green light to keep pursuing her. If you notice that she pulls away, then that means slow down and back-off.

If your friend holds out and makes it difficult to seduce her, then you have a choice to make: go into no contact and don’t contact this girl again until she reaches out to you first.

You then have to decide whether you want to make the effort with this girl (if she seems unhappy moving beyond friendship) or go back to being just friends.

The reason why it’s so hard to turn your friend into a girlfriend is because, as a friend, you’ve been relegated to the friend zone. A position that’s notoriously difficult to escape from. Difficult but not impossible.

Keep in mind, the moment you make your friend your girlfriend, is the moment the dynamic between the two of you changes.

A lot of men in this situation have the same common complaint: when they were friends everything was so easy. They could talk about everything. The girl didn’t test them. The girl would always call and message the guy.

Now, they’re in a relationship with their friend, the girl has changed. She gets moody, difficult, confrontational and is no longer the sweet friend they used to love hanging out with. Why is everything so difficult now?

This all happens because the rules of the game changed. You activate a different part of a woman’s brain the moment you become intimate with her. She is now going to test you because she has to, and she is going to hold you to a different standard than before.

In other words: goodbye friendship, hello drama!

Once you enter the realm of an intimate relationship, you must be comfortable bringing space into the relationship and getting her to chase you. This is how it has to be if the relationship is to work the right way and she’s going to have long-lasting attraction for you.

Ideally, the best way to play this going forward would be to wait for her to reach out to you, then when she does, catch up then flirt like crazy.

She needs to understand that your feelings have changed. Don’t talk about your feelings though, you must demonstrate your attraction for her with action as opposed to words.

If, for whatever reason, your friend says “no” or pulls away from you, you must also pull away and consider the possibility that this is too much work and not worth the effort.

The moment you adopt an attitude that this isn’t working and you’re ready to move on is often the moment women “intuitively” sense you pulling away from them and they often try hard to recapture your attention.

This is a delicate situation. If not handled correctly, or your relationship doesn’t work out, you might lose the friendship forever, but this is the risk you must take if you want something more.

People can often be great friends but terrible lovers. But in some situations, turning a girl friend into a girlfriend can lead to a wonderful romance.