A man should never obsess over one woman because it lowers his dignity and makes him unattractive. When a man obsesses over a woman, he is essentially placing her on a pedestal, making her the center of his world and his sole source of happiness. This level of obsession can be suffocating for the woman and make her feel uncomfortable, as it can come across as needy and desperate.
Furthermore, when a man obsesses over one woman, it sends a message that he has no other prospects or interests in life. This can be off-putting to potential partners, as no one wants to feel like they are second best or being compared to someone else. Obsessing over one woman also implies that the man has low self-esteem and is unable to find joy or contentment from within himself.
Finally, obsessing over one woman can lead to feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, which are never attractive traits in a romantic partner. By obsessing over one woman, the man is essentially stifling her freedom and independence; this behavior will only drive her away in the long run.
Case Study: Obsessed
Peter was a shy, introverted guy who spent most of his time at the gym. He had been working on getting in shape for years and was proud of his progress. That was until he met Louise. She was a fitness enthusiast who came to the gym every day and always pushed herself to the limit. Peter was immediately drawn to her and couldn’t stop thinking about her.
He started to obsess over Louise, checking her social media and trying to find out everything he could about her. He would even change his workout routine to be near her and try to engage her in conversation. At first, Louise was friendly and seemed to enjoy talking to Peter, but as his obsession grew, she began to pull away.
Peter was completely unaware of how his behavior (constantly trying to be close to her and constantly checking her social media) was affecting Louise. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize she was getting turned off by his constant attention.
Science Says: Don’t Obsess
A study titled “The Dark Side of Love: Obsessive Relational Intrusion and Relationship Outcomes” explored the impact of obsessive relational intrusion (ORI) on romantic relationships.
The study found that ORI behaviors, such as constantly checking a partner’s availability or monitoring their social media accounts, were associated with lower relationship satisfaction and less intimacy for both partners.
Additionally, the study found that ORI behaviors were perceived as controlling and intrusive by partners, which led to feelings of being turned off and uninterested in the relationship. These findings suggest that obsessive behavior in relationships can have a negative impact on both the individuals involved and the health of the relationship as a whole.
Obsession Kills Abundance
Women are drawn to men who are secure in themselves and do not feel the need to seek validation from others, including women. Such men are perceived as more confident and self-assured, which can be attractive traits.
Additionally, a man who is not overly focused on women may also have a more well-rounded life and interests, which can make them more interesting and appealing. The most important issue, however, is that becoming obsessed with one woman kills a man’s options and sense of abundance.
When a man has neither options or abundance, he will put women on a pedestal and become more obsessed due to his lack of options. Remember, we live in a world full of women and options. Here, there are two important points to remember: (1) Attractive women are everywhere, and (2) women aren’t going anywhere–attractive women will always be available.
So much of life is counterintuitive: if you want commitment, seek freedom; if you want closeness, seek space; if you want an attractive woman, pursue an attractive life.