Why Women Pull Away and Lose Attraction

Women pull away and lose attraction for a number of reasons. This behavior can include ignoring a man’s messages, disappearing unexpectedly, shutting off intimacy, or just being plane rude and disrespectful. All of this comes down to a lack of respect, which inevitably results in a loss of attraction. In this article, I discuss the 3 main reasons why women pull away and lose attraction for men.


The first reason is that a man becomes relationship focused. He is too focused on commitment and moving the relationship forward. Remember, if a woman senses that you are too relationship focused she will pull away from you.

Being relationship focused is feminine energy, being mission/purpose focused inhabits masculine energy. Opposite energies attract and it is for this reason that masculine energy attracts feminine energy. On the other hand, men who display feminine energy repel women who also have feminine energy.

If you start talking about the relationship then you will destroy it. Your job as a man is to keep the relationship light, fun, relaxed and sexual. Her job as a woman is to take care of the relationship. If she brings up the problems of the relationship or “wants to talk” you must respond with—there’s nothing to talk about, let’s just hang out and enjoy each others company. This way she will feel no stress and she will feel comfortable coming back to you at your own pace—and if you do this, you won’t lose her.


If a woman is trying to test you, she will naturally pull away from you in order to see how you respond to her withdrawal. Will you get upset? Will you become angry? Will you become emotionally unstable? If you display any of these characteristics, then you fail the woman’s test.

Why do women test in the first place? Because they need to vet you for emotional strength and stability. Needy, weak behavior on the part of the man will naturally trigger a woman and put her into test mode.

Remember all the other men out there are weak and needy. They would be blowing up her phone trying to see her. She will have experienced this before and this is why she feels the need to test you. There are many different ways a woman can test a man. One of the most powerful ways is to feign emotional withdrawal and a sudden lack of interest in the man. 

The purpose of this test, as with all tests, is to determine whether or not you will become unsettled and affected by her behavior. If you become rattled by her emotional withdrawal and go into panic mode, her fake emotional withdrawal will turn into real emotional withdrawal. 

She will then begin to test you even more, becoming increasingly bitchy and disrespectful along the way. 

When a woman appears to lose interest or withdraw emotionally, it is crucial that you see her behavior for what it is: a test, and, an opportunity to prove your strength and emotional stability so that she comes back to you even more attracted. 

The moment you sense that she has begun to pull away (either by appearing disinterested or refusing to answer your messages or return your phone calls) you should assume that you are being tested and remain in control of yourself and your emotions. You should avoid any display of fear or panic, and you must never act out of neediness or a need for reassurance and comfort. 


This can feel offensive, but male/female relationships, as designed by nature, care little for feelings. If a woman senses that a man is low value (i.e., he has no ambition, no drive, no motivation, no emotional stability, is careless or foolish), then she will naturally pull away from and lose attraction.

Men often assume that if they give a woman what she asks for she will be satisfied. She asks for loyalty, love, devotion and the man assumes that if he gives her these things he doesn’t need to do anything else. He can rest on his laurels (or the sofa) safe in the knowledge that he’s a nice guy and his girl will never leave him.

These men soon discover that it isn’t long before the woman pulls away and starts to lose interest. Why does this happen and why do women so often punish men who are loyal and kind? It’s because you don’t have a sense of purpose, and you’re not fulfilling your mission as a man.

You must stay on your purpose and focus on yourself, your goals, and self improvement. After all, your growth as a man, is beneficial for both you and the relationship. When you improve and get better, you have more skills, can provide more stability, more security, live a healthier life, and acquire more resources.

If you want to know how long a woman pulls away for, I recommend you check out my article How Long Do Women Pull Away For? Days? Months? Answer Revealed.