If you notice a girl messaging you less and becoming less responsive, this article will show you the best way to fix this problem. It’s an easy fix, but you need to stick to the gameplay laid out below.
But first…. I answer an email from a reader who’s girlfriend is becoming less responsive and has stopped sending sweet messages.
Hi Chris, I’ve been dating a girl for a couple of months now and everything was going great in the beginning. She was constantly messaging me and sending me “good morning” messages, but suddenly she stopped sending me messages and I can sense her pulling away from me.
This is common in the beginning of a relationship. Everything starts out passionate and exciting. You’re both love bombing each other with messages and phone calls. And neither of you can do anything wrong because it’s still fresh. She is still getting to know you so you’re a mystery and a challenge. However, over the course of a couple of weeks, you start becoming too available and too used to her messages. The moment the day comes when she decides to change her routine or stop messaging you as much, you panic. I must have seen hundreds of guys follow this same pattern.
She eventually stopped sending me messages and eventually told me that she needed space and time to herself. I wasn’t happy about this and I tried to get her to open up and talk, but she wasn’t interested in explaining herself.
Because you were no longer a mystery. You were no longer exciting. You were a known commodity. You had become predictable and boring in your routine. So, she starts to lose interest and slowly pulls away from you. In response, you most likely tried to chase her and win her over with more messages.
I guess maybe I was too kind to her and was too into the relationship? Maybe that’s why she pulled away. I really had strong feelings for this girl and can’t believe she just lost feelings for me so fast.
This goes against nature. A man should never be relationship focused and he should let the woman move the relationship along at her own pace. You don’t want her to feel like you are the one acting like a woman in the relationship, seeking commitment from her. This would be a big mistake. You can get away with it with women you aren’t that attracted to because you can’t mess things up with them. But when you’re dealing with a girl that you have high attraction for you can’t make these kinds of mistakes because you will naturally be more emotional and prone to neediness.
I’ve become more desperate as time has gone by. I’m want to get her back to how she was in the beginning, but I sense her drifting further away from me.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t care if you’re sad or needy. She just cares about your behavior. Women are emotional creatures and if she senses that you are needy or weak she will pull away from you. Women simply respond to their own emotions and how you make her feel. If you make her feel good and behave in a way that is confident and masculine, she will find you attractive and want to spend more time with you.
She is a Phd Student and doing her thesis right now. During her spring break, I was less available, and tried to correct the situation but damn it’s hard to change her now. She is really stubborn and seems like a different person.
You’re too relationship focused, that’s why you’re getting upset. She’s busy, she’s got to teach and she’s also studying as well, so you don’t want to add to her stress by letting your emotions get in the way. If you want to maintain that sizzling level of attraction with her, you have to pull back and allow her to reach out to you when she’s ready. Even if it takes a week or two of no contact, it’s better if she is the one who is always reaching out to you. That way she will sense, subconsciously, that she wants you more than you want her. This will make you appear more valuable and attractive in her eyes.
I tried to explain what I want in the relationship. I told her that she would need to be open and honest with me if we’re going to fix this problem. I told her she needs to open up to me. Mistake?
She’s going to think you’re really pathetic when you express this sentiment to her. You tell her this and she wonders why you’re so relationship focused and emotional. That’s not how men are supposed to behave. I know in this day and age of emotional vulnerability and a “tell her how you feel and she’ll love you for it” culture, it’s tempting to express your feelings to her and get her to open up. But in reality, the opposite will happen. She will lose attraction for you and become less available.
She said she is kind of stressed out these days from too much work. I want to spend every day with her. I spent 5 days out of 7 with her before, not sure why she can’t even see me for one day now.
It’s too much time together dude. You’re being way too available, way too emotional, and way too relationship focused here. She’s going to get bored of your presence and availability (both physical and emotional).
Not sure what’s going on. She is getting worse and worse and just keeps on pulling away from me. Right now she is like a different person and totally unavailable to me both emotionally and physically. What should I do?
Make Her Chase You
Getting her to fall in love with you and chase you is easy. However, you do need to follow a set of steps to make her feel more attracted to you. You can’t break down during this process and allow your emotions to get the better of you. That means, no chasing, no message her first, and taking a step back to mirror her emotions. The first thing you need to do is to stop messaging her and wait for her to message you first. Three days is nothing. It’s nothing to worry about. It’s nothing to panic about. And it’s actually a good thing.
Remember, attraction grows in space. Every day that goes by where you don’t talk to her, she will begin to wonder about you and think about you more.
She will miss you more, and she will start to feel more anxious about you, craving your presence and feeling the need to draw closer to you again.
You have to get comfortable with a girl pulling away for up to 10 days without feeling the need to panic or worry about her. You have to have the confidence to know that she will be back.
In case you haven’t seen this process actually work because you’ve never tried it before. I can tell you from my vast experience with this situation that it works every time. She will be in touch.
She’s Less Responsive, Mirror Her
You need to also rebuild your masculine frame. What I mean by this is that you have lost yourself and become relationship focused. Men aren’t supposed to be relationship focused. They are supposed to be mission focused. You’re supposed to be focused on your purpose in life. Your purpose might be work, it might be a hobby, business, health and fitness, studying, education… whatever it is, you need to put the focus on that instead of her.
The moment you get lost to a woman is the moment you lose her. She knows this and she can sense you getting emotional over her.
Now she won’t know why she’s getting turned off by your behavior, but she will suddenly get that dreaded feeling where she says, “I don’t know what happened, you’re a nice guy, but I’m just not feeling it anymore.”
If you want to avoid this scenario, you need to let her reach out to you and initiate contact with you.
Once she initiates contact with you, don’t be passive aggressive. Respond to her and let her know it’s great to hear from her and it would be great to see her.
If she says she can’t make it or she’s busy, simply go no contact again and wait for her to reach out to you.
If she agrees to see you, set a date and that’s it––no need to send anymore messages.
If at any time she gets upset and tries to call you out for not speaking to her or asks what happened, simply respond by telling her that you’ve been busy but it’s great to hear from her.
It’s not about playing games here. It’a about shifting your focus back onto yourself and your mission, and taking the focus off her.
If you do this, you won’t lose her and that old attraction will come back again. If you let her bring up commitment and move the relationship forward, it won’t be long before she is head over heals in love with you.
Your job as a man is to enjoy your time together, push for intimacy, and let her come to you when she’s ready.
If you follow these principles to the T, you will have 100% success with this girl and get her back with interest.