Do you want to know the best way to attract women on social media and online dating? This article will show you how to create and build real attraction with women online.
Used the right way, social media can stimulate attraction and build intrigue; used the wrong way, however, and social media has the potential to wreak havoc and make you look desperate and weak. It’s for this reason that we must examine social media—not just as a way to build attraction, but also as a way to avoid killing attraction altogether.
The dark side of social media is that so much of it is ego driven. When a woman posts a picture of herself online, men often assume that the best way to get her attention is to start liking all her posts and pictures in return. In other words, they inadvertently become just another “fanboy.”
A surprising number of men believe they can capture a woman’s interest and attract a woman on social media by liking all her posts and updates. If building attraction were that easy, every man would be having sex with the girl of his dreams. That’s not to say liking a woman’s posts doesn’t have its place.
Intermittently liking a woman’s posts lets her know that you’re aware of her presence and that you might be interested in her—might being the operative word here for doubt and uncertainty are key factors when it comes to attracting women on social media and online.
Case Study: The Dangers of Social Media
When Laura found Jordan’s profile on social media, she couldn’t believe it—Jordan had changed so much, she hardly recognized him. In high school, Jordan had been a skinny, little kid; now he was a strong, handsome man. After exchanging a couple of messages, Laura and Jordan both agreed they should meet up in person. It wasn’t long, however, before Laura found herself getting turned off by Jordan’s behavior.
Every time she posted a picture or comment, Jordan would always like it. It didn’t matter what she posted, Jordan would always comment or like her post straight away. Laura didn’t know why, but she began to feel like she was losing interest in Jordan. Why was he so responsive to everything she did? His availability and high level of interest reeked of desperation.
When Jordan tried to meet up with Laura the following weekend, Laura told him she was busy and would be unavailable for the next couple of weeks. And although Jordan was frustrated by Laura’s response, it didn’t stop him from liking all her posts and updates on social media. Jordan believed that if he continued to shower Laura with enough attention, she would soon realize what an amazing guy he was.
What Jordan didn’t know was that Laura had also been checking out the profile of another guy she’d met a couple of weeks ago (some guy called Nick). Nick wasn’t that active on social media, but whenever he did post a photo or comment, he was always doing something fun and interesting. Usually, he was taking a trip, riding a bike, or doing something adventurous like scuba diving. The more Laura looked at Nick’s profile, the more she liked him.
Over the next couple of weeks, Laura found herself thinking more and more about Nick. What kind of man was he? She had no idea. He only occasionally liked her posts and he only messaged her if she reached out and messaged him first. Nick was a complete mystery. But from what Laura could see, he was definitely a fun and attractive guy to be around. Maybe I should send him a message and ask him out on a date, Laura thought.
Researchers at the University of Alaska found that women are more attracted to men who take “hunter-gatherer” type risks as opposed to stupid risks. Hunter-gatherer type risks include outdoor physical activities like mountain biking, scuba diving, rock climbing, and extreme sports. The results of the study found that women are more attracted to men who take risks similar to those faced by our hunter-gatherer ancestors.
Men Who Take Risks are More Attractive
In contrast, men who performed what were considered “stupid risks” were found to be significantly less attractive. A good example of a stupid risk would be handling dangerous chemicals in an unsafe way, plagiarizing an academic paper, or stealing. Additional research published in CyberPsychology & Behavior revealed that social media is also most likely responsible for increased levels of jealousy and suspicion in relationships.
Because the nature of social media is often ambiguous and open to interpretation, it often leads to high levels of jealousy amongst both men and women. This knowledge, of course, can be used to your advantage.
Creating artificial jealousy is often an effective way to capture a woman’s interest and restore fading interest. If you want to introduce the element of jealousy into your relationship, however, you must refrain from being too overt and direct.
Posting pictures on social media of yourself being intimate with another woman will only instill resentment and throw up more problems and resistance. Instead, it’s better to be seen pictured with attractive women as opposed to being intimate with them.
One picture with an attractive woman is all you need to create a sense of anxiety and discomfort. A woman’s mind will naturally gravitate towards feelings of jealousy, which, in turn, will lead her to feel heightened levels of attraction for you.
It’s also worth noting that researchers at Texas Christian University discovered that women find men more attractive when the man is pictured with other attractive women (this can include attractive ex-girlfriends and even strangers).
This phenomenon, known as mate choice copying, builds on the theory that men become more attractive when they’re chosen by other attractive women. And even though attraction, in this case, is based on nothing more than a mental shortcut, the impact of mate choice copying on attraction mustn’t be overlooked.
Build Attraction Online by Projecting High-Value
If your goal is to attract women on social media, you should post as many high-status pictures on social media as possible. A study published in the British Journal of Psychology brought to light an interesting aspect of attraction. The study revealed that men who posted pictures of themselves sitting in a Bentley Continental were immediately seen as more attractive than men pictured in a Ford Fiesta. Okay, no real surprise there.
Yet another study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology found that men who had their picture taken inside a luxury apartment were rated more attractive than the same men pictured outside on the street.
Women by nature are attracted to high-value men. The expensive car, the luxury apartment, the lavish lifestyle all indicate that a man is likely to possess high-value traits such as confidence, intelligence, strength, and persistence.
You mustn’t assume that you have to rely solely on ostentatious displays of wealth to build attraction on social media. You only need to make sure that the pictures you post reflect a lifestyle that’s both appealing and attractive.
Attract Women on Social Media
Pictures of physical activity, traveling, developing a business, and working on a hobby are all pictures that communicate high-value. Another study that explored the effect of social proof on attraction was carried out by researchers at the University of California at San Diego. The study found that men and women usually look better when photographed as part of a group.
When it comes to creating attraction, everything you post online should be geared towards building value and status. Because human beings are social creatures, you mustn’t forget the power of social proof and the role it plays in attraction. One excellent form of social proof is preselection. So how exactly does preselection work?
A man walks into a bar by himself. The women in the bar look at the man and think nothing of it—all they see is a man walking into the bar, he could be anyone. Now imagine the same man walks into the same bar and this time he has a beautiful woman on his arm.
The other women see the man and their reaction is now completely different. The man is no longer just a regular guy who walked in off the street. What is it about this man that enabled him to attract such a beautiful woman into his life? This is the power of social proof.
The man has already been preselected by a beautiful woman, the other women in the bar see this and automatically assume the man has high-value.
Use Social Proof When Online Dating
In a similar way, when you walk past a restaurant and see a crowd of people lined up outside, you are naturally inclined to wonder what’s so special about that restaurant in particular. Most people will assume the food is exceptional because so many people want to eat there. This is the power of social proof. The Royal Society published an interesting study that helps to explain the power of social proof in more detail. The study analyzed how female participants would react to different pictures of a man and woman (with the woman looking at the man with different facial expressions).
In the pictures, the woman’s facial expressions were either (a) smiling (b) bored, or (c) neutral. The results of the study showed that the female participants rated the man most attractive in those pictures where the woman was seen “smiling” at the man.
Other studies evaluating the effect of social proof on attraction found similar results. One such study published in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology explained how women are more likely to be drawn to men who are already in a relationship, as opposed to men who are single.
Further research into this dark area of attraction revealed that women only find men attractive in this situation if the man is dating an attractive woman. In other words, if you’re seen walking around with plain Jane, you’ll do nothing to inspire interest or raise your value.
Social proof can be used to great effect on social media. And based on the body of scientific research that already exists in this field, it’s safe to say that men who are seen with attractive women immediately raise their value and become more attractive as a result.
Any time you raise your value to the point where you’ve acquired a certain level of prestige and recognition (for example, you’re seen with a beautiful woman, you’re a semi-celebrity, or you’ve achieved recognition in a particular field or industry), you exhibit social proof and value.
Even when you’re simply having a good time, hanging out with a group of friends, you have an opportunity to display positive social proof based on the fact that you’re socially aware and liked by your peers. Displaying social proof is a great way to build attraction for human beings are nothing if not social animals.