Should you apologize to your girlfriend? When women get upset, it’s tempting to apologize. If you attempt to apologize, however, you do nothing to project strength or raise your value.
Research into conflict resolution has found that apologies are often accompanied by a loss of face and a loss of respect and status. A study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that people who refuse to apologize often feel better about themselves and have a greater sense of control over situations.
This doesn’t mean you should never apologize to your girlfriend under any circumstance. If you’ve lied, cheated, or caused some other misdemeanor, it’s okay to apologize once and let your girlfriend know it wasn’t your intention to hurt her.
Indifference Trumps Apology
In situations like this, it’s always better to say, “I apologize” as opposed to “I’m sorry” as saying sorry makes a person appear more vulnerable compared to the less contrite “I apologize.” If your girlfriend still doesn’t accept your apology, and she continues to call you a “cheater,” “untrustworthy,” or a “liar” you must respond with indifference to prevent the situation from spiraling out of control.
In the realm of attraction, it’s not a crime to cheat, lie, and break promises. It is, however, a crime to repeatedly apologize for mistakes that were—rightly or wrongly—made in the past.
If you assume the mantle of the eternal apologist, you’ll not only pay the price for your transgressions now, but you’ll continue to pay the price for your transgressions well into the future.
Still Want to Apologize to Your Girlfriend?
Research into conflict resolution found that people who apologize on a frequent basis are more likely to be punished because their apology is seen as an admission of guilt. One key factor that must be considered is the way women perceive men who apologize. The apologetic man is considered weak and untrustworthy. If you cheat, or lie, or commit some other delightful sin, you must own your behavior and act without apology.
Your girlfriend will only punish you for as long as you allow yourself to be punished.
The moment you adopt a “get over it and move on” attitude is the moment a woman loses her ability to punish you. She can no longer make you feel guilt or remorse. Her attack is rendered useless, a senseless act of futility that serves no purpose other than to strengthen your position and make her look foolish.