How To Stop Being Weak In The Relationship

How To Stop Being Weak In The Relationship

Here’s how to stop being weak in the relationship. I don’t say this to put men down, but being weak and needy is one of the biggest mistakes a man can make around a woman—if you want to unload, do it around your male buddies or close family.

Today I’d like to share an email with you (courtesy of a reader) who was frustrated because his ex-wife was holding back on him sexually and then ended up leaving him.

Dear Chris,

(I cut out the beginning to get straight to the point) …we were married for two years and during that time she only ever gave me a blowjob in the beginning of our relationship. This, after telling me how much she loved to give blowjobs before we started having sex. I know it sounds petty, but this was a huge problem in our relationship (It’s not petty at all. Sex is a huge part of a relationship and if you’re not satisfied then it’s going to escalate into a big problem).

I always went down on her and tried my best to please her, but she never did the same for me. She always said that she would give me a blowjob, but never did and when I asked her why she would always say things like, “I was going to but I’m not sure why I didn’t” or “next time I can do that” and the most frustrating one of all, “I almost did, but not sure why I didn’t.” (This makes my blood boil.)

But it was all talk and she never did it. She loved having sex with me though and said I was the best lover she ever had. I just can’t understand where I went wrong.

I was so patient with her. She said that I was a little bigger than her other boyfriends so giving me a blowjob was painful (Another BS excuse. She can still give a guy a blowjob if he’s packing ten inches, she doesn’t have to swallow the whole thing).

I thought that could be a legitimate reason and I was really understanding about it. I told her that even if she just licked me or kissed me that was great too. But she didn’t even do that. I actually thought about cheating but knew in my heart that I couldn’t bring myself to hurt my wife. I love her more than anything and we talked about this a lot.

She always promised that she would give me a blowjob but she never did and would come up with a 1000 excuses. I tried everything to make her happy. I bought her gifts and took her to nice restaurants. I even did all the housework so she wouldn’t feel stressed out. I gave her massages and gave her all I could give… (Big mistake. You’re pursuing and chasing and trying to buy her affection. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should put your balls in a jar under the sink).

Anyway, after not talking about the blowjob issue for over three months, I brought it up again and my wife has suddenly said that she wants a break in our relationship and has asked me to go and stay at my parent’s house (Your wife has lost all attraction for you and now she’s telling you that you have to leave your own house? Are you fucking serious? The only thing worse than her behavior is the fact that you’re accepting and tolerating all her bullshit).

This happened last week and I’ve been a wreck ever since. I feel terrible for pressuring the woman I loved into doing something that she didn’t want to do. Now I’ll do anything to get her back.

Please help,

(A lot of people out there will be full of excuses for this woman. But I’ve only got sympathy for this guy. His wife has essentially railroaded him, but here’s the good news. I’ve been through this experience myself and I have a fix for this problem. But before I get into the fix, I will try to provide some insight into why this guy’s wife was refusing to give this him something she knew he wanted and deserved:

begging-a-woman-back1) She’s testing you. She’s seeing how much she can get away with in the relationship and this poor guy is failing her tests at every turn. Not only that, he’s rewarding her bad behavior with love and attention and gifts and massages! She’s thinking, what a minute! All I have to do is string him along and keep him thinking that I’ll give him a blowjob one day and he’ll be even nicer to me.

Solution: tell her you’re thinking about leaving the relationship and mean it, because your needs aren’t being met.

2) She’s lost attraction for you. There’s a strong possibility that she just isn’t feeling it anymore and she isn’t attracted to you enough to want to please you. This is because she knows she has you. You’ve made it too easy for her and you’re acting all weak and needy around her.

Solution: tell her you’re thinking about leaving the relationship and mean it, because your needs aren’t being met.

3) She is not naturally a giving person.

This is a tough one, but some women just aren’t givers. Some women are just takers and talkers. They talk and talk and talk, but don’t take action.

Solution: tell her you’re thinking about leaving the relationship and mean it, because your needs aren’t being met.

This solution might appear to be ruthless, but it works. If you want to keep doing the same thing and getting the same results then keep doing what you’ve been doing. However, the solution I’ve given you has worked 100% of the time with the women I’ve had the same problem with.

You know why?

Because I’m always willing to walk away and leave a woman if she doesn’t change and give me what I want. You just need to have the balls to stand up and give her an ultimatum. As I always say, the person who’s willing to walk away will always win.

So why did she refuse his sexual needs and leave him?

Because he showed weakness and this turned her off.

A lot of guy’s think that once they’ve got the girl, especially married men, that the hard work is now over. The truth is, the work never stops with women. You have to keep courting and dating her, all the while doing it in a way that makes you appear strong and attractive.

In the case where a woman leaves a man for being weak and unattractive (as is the case with our reader), then there are certain things you must do in order to win her back.

Stop Putting Her First

Stop Putting Her FirstI’ve got two good friends who always get dumped by women.

These men are really nice guys but they all display the same qualities and traits around women…

They buy their girlfriend’s lots of gifts. And they are always the first to call and text their girlfriends.

After you start dating a girl, you should never be the first to contact a girl—remember, a girl should come to you, not the other way round.

These two friends of mine get upset if the girl isn’t happy and will do anything to please her. These men all have the wrong life purpose, they put the woman first in their life.

I know it sounds romantic and it’s what society tells us we should do, but guess what… what the movies and women and society tells us we should do in relationships is 95% of the time wrong.

Women are attracted to men who have purpose. A woman knows the free-spirited man can live without her and she can’t control him, and this is part of the reason why she loves him so much.

Our reader, showered his girlfriend with gifts and affection and attention, and he’s got nothing but a broken relationship to show for it.

What Would Your Hero Do?

What Would Your Hero Do?He’s the ultimate ladies man and for good reason. The Bond movies are pretty much the only movies where they get it right with women. Forget Hitch and all those other toxic movies. Bond is the man you want to model.

You don’t need to dress like him. You don’t need to look like him. You don’t even need to have a cool job like him. You just have to display the same masculine traits as him.

The one trait that Bond displays is complete indifference, mixed with an easygoing charm, mystery and humor

Can you imagine Bond begging his girlfriend for a blowjob? Of course not. Bond has an abundance mentality. He knows that if he doesn’t get what he needs from one women, he’ll be getting it somewhere else.

Can you imagine Bond continuously calling and texting a girl to try to get her back? Or Bond canceling an important assignment because he had to stay home to clean the house for his girlfriend?

No chance!

Make It Your Way Or The Highway

Make It Your Way Or The Highway The strongest position you can ever hold is to be willing to walk away from a woman and mean it. This applies to business and relationships. No one can hold anything over you or control you or upset you if you’re willing to walk away when you’re not happy with the terms being offered.

The strange thing is that once you show your hand and people realize that you’re willing to walk away, they’ll usually bend to meet your needs.

(A lot of guys are massively over-invested in a woman. They give the woman everything and put all their faith in her. When you do this a woman can sense it and it and it’s a huge turn-off because you’re communicating to her that you don’t have other options. In other words, they know you will never walk away from them.)

When a woman leaves a man because he’s weak, the man now has no choice but to show the woman that he’s no longer weak. But how?

By not chasing her and not giving into her demands, that’s how. If your girlfriend asks you what you’re doing, remain elusive. Tell her you’re busy. If she asks you what you are busy doing, simply tell her that you’ve got a lot of stuff on at the moment. If she presses you further, tell her you don’t have time to explain and you can talk more in person.

Bottom line is that you don’t want to be spending lots of time on the phone talking to your ex (or any girl for that matter). You need to use the phone and email to organize a date to meet-up in person. This means you don’t contact your ex and you let her come to you. Then, you set a date to meet her again in person.

When you actually meet up with your ex girlfriend, remain playful, humorous and indifferent to the outcome—all the while you want to be leading the interaction towards sex. However, don’t be the one to touch her first, let her be the one to always touch you. And if you’re not sure how to act around her, ask yourself this question: what would your hero do?

He’d show her a good time. He’d be fun and relaxed and he’d steer her directly towards the bedroom.

Click here for Part 2.