One of the least understood and unappreciated aspects of seduction is the concept of value. Between a man that’s available and a man that’s less available, who do you think is more attractive to women?
In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology researchers examined how people would react to two identical sets of cookies placed in separate glass jars.
One jar contained ten cookies, and the other jar contained two cookies. The researchers then attempted to find out which jar of cookies would be perceived as more valuable (even though the cookies and jars were both identical).
The results of the study found that the jar with two cookies was rated more valuable than the jar with ten cookies. It’s a strange quirk of human nature that less available people and objects are perceived to be more desirable and valuable.
When gold is as common as dirt, it has no value. Water is arguably the most important element on earth. It sustains life and keeps us alive. As humans, we can only survive for approximately three to four days without water.
Despite water’s obvious value, however, water is still considered a low-value commodity because its supply is abundant. Yet, gold an element that does nothing to support life is considered more valuable than water because its supply is limited.
Humans Fear Loss More than Gains
This brings us to an interesting point, out of all the human emotions, human beings are most uncomfortable dealing with feelings of loss, regret, and missed opportunity. Losing out on a scarce resource has the potential to trigger a cocktail of negative emotions, and, as research into loss aversion shows people are much more likely to want to avoid loss than they are to seek gains.
In other words, the pain of losing fifty dollars far outweighs the joy of winning fifty dollars. Once you have a firm understanding of these concepts, you can start to use scarcity and loss aversion to your advantage, exploiting a woman’s natural instinct to mate and pair with high-value men.
Case Study: Low Value = Low Attraction
Zach and Brooke had been dating for almost two years when Zach got down on one knee and asked Brooke to marry him. Zach knew he wasn’t going to find anyone better than Brooke, even if he spent the next ten years looking. Now in his mid-forties, Zach couldn’t wait to settle down and start a family. Sure, their relationship wasn’t perfect and they sometimes fought, but who didn’t? The more he thought about it, the more Zach knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Brooke.
Logically, Brooke knew marrying Zach made sense. After all, he was a loyal and loving boyfriend and would make an equally devoted husband. Zach was Mr. Reliable, and Brooke loved that about him.
Yet for some reason, she couldn’t help but feel like something was missing from their relationship. It wasn’t that Zach wasn’t a good man, he was. But where was all the passion and excitement she craved?
If Brooke was being honest with herself, she knew she was just passing time, waiting for Mr. Right to come along. This can’t go on, Brooke thought. It’s not fair to Zach and it’s not fair to me.
* * *
Nine months later, Brooke was in a relationship with Daniel. Daniel was the complete opposite of Zach. He was exciting, interesting, and bold. The sex was incredible, the conversation was interesting, and they had enough passion and excitement in their relationship to last a lifetime.
There was only one problem—Brooke felt as though she liked Daniel a lot more than he liked her. She also felt as though she had to work overtime to get his attention. She was the one who was always calling him and sending him messages.
Daniel’s elusive presence had turned him into a scarce resource. Little did Brooke realize that this was the main reason why she was so attracted to him.
Less Available Men Are More Attractive
Basic human psychology dictates that men who are less available are seen as more valuable and attractive than their more available peers. Research into attraction has also confirmed that playing “hard to get” works in a man’s favor. This is why being a scarce resource is such a powerful and effective way to gain a woman’s respect and raise your own value at the same time.
However, being a scarce resource isn’t just a matter of pulling away and becoming less available, it’s about becoming less emotionally available to induce confusion and turmoil.
Emotional withdrawal means you disqualify a woman when she (a) attempts to get close to you or (b) pulls away from you.
As an example, when a woman tries to draw close to you by saying: “So what are we?” It’s easy to disqualify her with a simple: “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” This statement is loaded with subtext, providing hope and doubt in equal measure. “I’m not looking for anything serious” sets up the challenge, “…right now” offers a glimmer of hope and something for her to work towards.
In the same way, if a woman tries to pull away from you by telling you that “things are moving too fast,” you must agree with this sentiment and let her know you feel the same way and miss your freedom.
Pushing a woman away when she pulls away from you increases your value, forcing her to chase you as she tries to capture that one elusive commodity more valuable than gold—your love. If you seek love, you must act as though love is the last thing on your mind. In the same way, if you seek commitment, you must make freedom your number one priority.