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Learn how to attract women and keep them attracted to you.
Learn how to attract women and keep them attracted to you.
If you want to know how to get your girlfriend fall in love with you, you’ve come to the right place. This article will tell you everything you need to know to get your girlfriend to fall in love with you again.
This is really useful if you have a girlfriend who you really like but doesn’t seem that interested in you at the moment and is quite cold and unaffectionate.
1) Raise your value as a man.
2) Become an awesome catch
3) Tricks to make her more attracted to you
4) Make her want to fall in love with you
Picture this: there are two men. One called Peter, one called Paul.
Peter is hopelessly in love with Jane. But Jane isn’t interested in Peter at all. Instead, Jane is head over heels in love with Paul.
What did Paul do right and Peter do wrong? To find out, we have to understand what makes a woman fall in love with a man.
People say love is complicated, but it’s really not. As a psychologist I’ve always been fascinated by human attraction and love. So what is love and what’s the best way to make a woman to fall in love with you?
Want to know one of the big secrets to getting your girlfriend to fall in love with you?
She has to see you as a high value man. Without this, you’re doomed to failure. And this is the number #1 reason why Peter lost the girl of his dreams, and why Paul won her over.
When you first meet a woman, she only has a few ways to measure your true value as a man and put you in the appropriate value category (bear in mind that at this stage, a woman’s judgement is pretty flexible and open to change, nevertheless, first impressions are strong and they count for a lot!)
The first way that a woman will try to assess your value as a man is to check out your appearance. What do you look like? Yes, looks are important as a man, but not the way you think they are.
A woman will be looking at several cues here:
– Are you clean and healthy looking?
– Are you in good shape or a slob?
– Do you dress in a way that is attractive and portrays confidence?
– How do you carry yourself and what is your posture like?
– How do you talk, are you intelligent and interesting?
By seeing all this, a woman is able to make a lot of fast, general assumptions about a man. And rightly or wrongly these assumptions will help to determine your value in a woman’s mind.
For better or worse, in this initial assessment a woman will start to make assumptions about your job, your financial position in life, your level of confidence and whether or not your are someone interesting and someone worth knowing. She’ll also take note of other critical factors like your health and your approximate age.
Although this initial meeting might seem superficial, it is the fundamental basis for attraction. If the woman likes what she sees, she’ll be much more willing to take things further with you.
In my own experience, and dealing with my own clients, the greatest battles in love always come from woman who didn’t have a high enough level of interest and attraction to begin with.
When Peter first met Jane, however, she actually found him quite attractive. He looked good. He dressed well and appeared to be healthy and fit. He also looked like he was doing okay for himself and making decent money. And when he spoke to her he also appeared friendly and interesting too.
Surprisingly enough, Jane found Paul less attractive when she first met him (although that definitely changed later on). When Jane first saw Paul she saw a guy who dressed very casual and was in good enough shape. But he didn’t seem that interesting or friendly when she first met him.
Jane’s initial impression of Paul was that he wasn’t that successful in life, just getting by.
At this point in time Peter’s value appeared to be a solid 7 out of 10; Paul was sitting around a 5. So what did Paul do differently to turn things around and get Jane to fall in love with him.
It’s simple. Paul was able to demonstrate higher value.
How does a man increase his value and make himself more attractive to women? To do this, a man has to understand what is valuable to women.
Women are attracted to men who are powerful and confident and healthy. Now on the surface, it might seem difficult for a man to portray the qualities of power and confidence, but believe me when I say this… most men in this world display incredibly low value (and as you’ll find out, this is the big mistake that Peter made when he was trying to get Jane to be his girlfriend).
It’s a sad truth that most of the men in this world have let themselves go and are steadily reducing their value on a daily basis.
95% of men out there are out of shape, they don’t take care of their appearance, they don’t dress well and they’re also severely unhappy with their lives, their jobs and their financial situation. But this is only the tip of the iceberg…
The real problem for 95% of men is that they are plagued with anxiety and insecurity when it comes to dating women, especially when it comes to dating women they really like and find attractive. This anxiety and insecurity is one of the biggest roadblocks when it comes to getting your girlfriend to fall in love with you.
Most men in this world don’t believe that they are worthy enough to get the love and appreciation of a beautiful woman—this can manifest itself in ugly ways when we see men get jealous, stalk their girlfriends, call their girlfriend endlessly on the phone and text them like crazy. It also leads to men getting defensive and passive aggressive, and even, on occasions, physically abusing the girl they’re supposed to cherish and love.
All this comes from the fact that most men don’t feel secure enough in themselves and have low self confidence and self esteem. All of this lowers a man’s value and attractiveness in a woman’s eyes.
Women love men who display strong masculine traits like:
– Emotional stability
– Purpose in life
– Strong drive
– Positive mindset
Men who have these traits are considered high value men that are extremely attractive to women.
If you’re able to display these traits to your girlfriend she’s going to fall in love with you. However, if you screw up and show traits of neediness and weakness and insecurity—you will be perceived as a weak, low-value man by your girlfriend and she’s going to be repulsed by you and turned off.
Jane decided that she would go on dates with both Peter and Paul. She had plenty of time and wanted a relationship. On her first date with Peter, Jane said that she was also dating other guys. This just came up in the conversation.
Peter, however, had already decided that he really liked Jane and wanted to make her his girlfriend. When Peter heard that Jane was already dating other guys he got upset and moody.
Peter told Jane that he didn’t want her to see other guys because he wanted to be her boyfriend. Jane thought this was funny, but little did she know that inside her female sub-conscious she had already started to lose attraction for Peter. He appeared to be desperate, needy and insecure. His value dropped to a 5.
That very same week, Jane went on a date with Paul. Things were going quite well. Although Paul wasn’t quite as physically attractive as Peter. Jane decided to do a little test (as women do). She told Paul that she was dating other guys and waited to see what his reaction would be.
Paul simply laughed and said, “I hope you’re having fun.” Jane smiled and their conversation continued as if nothing had happened. But inside Jane’s mind she had taken note of Paul’s calm, indifferent response.
Jane’s sub-conscious started to re-calculate Paul’s attraction level. Paul’s wasn’t nervous or affected by what she had just said, but Peter was. This means that Paul must be stronger and more confident than Peter; therefore, there must be something special about Paul. Paul’s value had now risen to a 7.
A lot of guys make a huge mistake and think that they have to acquire a lot of material possessions in order to make their girlfriend fall in love with them. This mentality doesn’t just exist in the West, but it’s even more ridiculous and extreme in places like India and Asia.
There is a small section of women (yes, Gold Diggers) who will get together with a man in order to acquire his resources. These women aren’t attracted to these men and they certainly don’t love them, they’re attracted to the lifestyle and what they can get out of these men. Avoid these women at all costs.
Then there are the 95% of women who seek men who are resourceful and capable of acquiring assets and resources—these women are different to Gold Diggers.
These aren’t bad women, they are simply obeying their own biology and seeking out a stable and secure man who can provide for her and her future children. Sounds horrible doesn’t it! But this all works on a sub-conscious level.
It’s also important to understand that you can still be broke and jobless and still be seen as very attractive to women. Now I know this sounds crazy and impossible, but it’s important to understand that women are not just attracted to men who are capable and resourceful right now…
It’s been scientifically proven that women are attracted to men who have the potential to be successful in the future. So it’s important to understand that you don’t have to be successful right now, you just have to be going places and have ambition.
Sure you can be broke, jobless and living at home with your parents, but if you’ve got some ambition, some drive, some dreams and little bit of resourcefulness—then women are still going to consider you to be a very attractive person because they see you have the potential to be successful in the future.
Don’t make the mistake and think that just because you’re not rich or successful right now, you can’t get your girlfriend to fall in love with you.
If you think you have to be rich and have a great car and house to get a great looking girlfriend, you’re wrong, you don’t. You just have to have your shit together. Don’t be a bum, don’t be lazy and put some effort into life and that will separate you from 95% of guys out there.
It’s been proven that people see us how we see ourselves. In other words, you become what you think you are.
If you think you’re a loser and you’re ugly and uninteresting, then that is exactly how the world will perceive you.
On the other hand, if you take pride in your appearance, and consider yourself to be someone with ambition, someone who is interesting and worth talking to—then women will find you much more attractive and the world will treat you with respect.
Jane believed Peter’s value to be about a 5 out of 10. She decided to give him one more shot. If his value had been any lower, her sub-conscious would be so turned-off that she would refuse any form of contact with him.
Peter invited Jane to meet him in a little coffee shop. Jane asked Peter how his work was going and he responded by telling her that he had been working in the same job for the last 7 years. Peter began to complain about his boss and how he didn’t feel respected by his colleagues as well. Jane asked him, “why, if he hated his job so much, was he still doing it?”
Peter simply said, “I’ve got to pay the bills. Anyway, I’ve been looking at other jobs and there isn’t anything better out there for me right now.”
Jane understood how Peter felt. She also had a job in marketing that she hated and had been grinding it out for the last couple of years too. She also felt like her colleagues and her boss didn’t respect her.
For the next hour, Peter and Jane had a great time swapping horror stories about work and about their horrible bosses and colleagues. Jane found that she had something in common with Peter and this raised his value ever so slightly to a 5.5 (based on the simple fact that she felt more comfortable around him now).
On her next date with Paul, Jane asked him how his work was going. Paul told her that he wasn’t actually working at the moment. He told her that he had quit his office job a few months ago and was starting his own business.
Jane was a little shocked by this. She blurted out, “isn’t that a little reckless to just quit your job and have no income?”
Paul simply responded: “It has to be this way. I’m more energized and more focused now than ever before. If I had to work some bullshit job that I hate just for money, I wouldn’t be able to focus on starting my new business. I’d be too tired. Yes, times are tough right now, but it’s now or never and I’ve never felt more positive and happy with my life.”
Jane sat back in her chair in silence. She sipped her coffee and thought about what Paul had just said. Here was a man that was taking a chance in life and was actually happy.
She looked at Paul and felt a new emotion—she respected him. He wasn’t like the other guys she’d been dating. He had ambition, he seemed to know what he wanted out of life and wasn’t afraid to go after it. Paul was confident and sure of himself. He was also happy and fun to be around. Jane felt like she could learn a lot from this man and she could respect him too.
Paul’s value suddenly jumped from a 7 to an 8. She thought about Peter for a moment. How he seemed to have given up on his career and how he displayed no ambition at all. Peter’s value as a man fell to a 4 (the fact that she’d enjoyed her conversation with Peter so much on their last date didn’t change a thing).
Paul’s value was now a solid 8. Jane decided to focus all her attention on him. Peter, whose value was now a 4, wasn’t even on the scene anymore. When Peter kept trying to call Jane, she simply ignored him. When he kept persisting, she responded with a message saying that she was “too busy” to see him.
Peter was heartbroken. Jane saw her own value as a 7. Now that Paul’s value exceeded her own, Jane found herself in the position where she was ready and willing to open her heart up to Paul.
If I asked you how valuable you think you are on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you say? Do you see yourself as a valuable person who is attractive to women?
This is important. The more attractive and valuable and interesting you see yourself to be, the more attractive and valuable and interesting women will find you as well. And this will make your girlfriend much more likely to fall in love with you.
So what are some of the things you can do as a man to make yourself immediately more valuable and attractive to women?
I always like to lead with the analogy of a diamond. Why do people find diamonds valuable? You can’t eat them, they can’t make your life easier and they can’t help you in any way… so why are diamonds so valuable? What’s the big deal?
Once you understand the answer to this question, you will realize that the same things that make a diamond valuable can make you valuable as well.
If you want your girlfriend, or any woman or human being for that matter, to see you as a valuable person—you must increase your value.
So what’s the best way to increase your value and make your girlfriend fall in love with you?
Well, one of the reasons that diamonds are so valuable is because they are a scarce resource. This means that you can’t just walk down the street or go out into nature and find yourself a diamond.
Getting a diamond out of the ground is tough; it takes time and skill and a lot of expertise.
If you make yourself into a scarce resource (for example, someone who isn’t easy to get in touch with, who only spends a limited amount of time with his girlfriend because he is busy) then your girlfriend will automatically view you as a more valuable person.
You also need to be able to make yourself stand out from other men—to do the unexpected. If you’re a positive person, happy, healthy, confident, interesting and ambitious, then you’ll set yourself apart from 95% of all other men out there—and become a one in a million kind of man.
The other thing that makes diamonds so valuable is that jewelry stores all sell their diamonds at a relatively high price. If it’s expensive it must be valuable—even though a diamond is just a mineral. The fact that other people are willing to assign a diamond a lot of value ends up making it valuable.
Why is a degree from a prestigious university valuable? Answer: because that’s what people believe. It’s all about perceived value, not necessarily real value.
Now if other people start to see you as a valuable person (perhaps you have some impressive achievements to your name or you have some cool talents or accomplishments) then you will be seen as a much more valuable and attractive person by your girlfriend.
And if you have no real accomplishments or achievements right now, if you have dreams and you’re actively pursuing those dreams—then don’t worry, that’s enough to increase your immediate value.
Also, let’s not forget that if you have numerous dating options and lots of women find you attractive, then you will become much more attractive and valuable to your girlfriend and she will be much more likely to want to fall in love with you. Remember, people want what other people want. If everyone wants you, then you must be valuable, right?
Let’s say that you’ve started to date your girlfriend. Everything is going great and you really care about this girl. How do you take your girlfriend from a state of attraction and high interest to a state of love.
Now there’s a study that was published in the Journal of Social Psychology (Harrison) that found that women take longer than men to fall in love.
Now it varies from person-to-person, but the study found that on average men fell in love after only a couple of weeks, whereas for women it takes a couple of months to fall in love.
So what happened to the cold-hearted stereotype of the macho man with a heart made of stone? The truth is, these men are few and far between. The majority of men could walk right into a Hollywood love story and fit right in.
Most men are willing to fall in love if their girlfriend looks beautiful and the sex is great. Other problems like mental issues or the fact that a girl has a difficult personality will only become a problem later on for these men (after the Honeymoon phase has worn off).
Women, on the other hand, are much more cautious about giving their hearts away to a man. For biological reasons it is important that a women chooses the best man she can (this is because a woman can only bear one child at a time and will have to raise that child until it becomes an adult).
Men don’t have the same biological problem. We can have sex with as many different women as possible and potentially make dozens of babies in one year with multiple women. As a result, we can afford to give our love away more freely than women. And this is why it takes women longer to fall in love with a man (because she’s watching you and trying to decide if you’re worth investing her time and emotions into).
A psychology study carried out by Cacioppo et al., 2012, showed that the region that is activated in women’s brains by sexual desire is almost identical to the region that is activated by love.
So what does this mean?
It means that sexual desire and love are extremely connected. If your girlfriend finds you sexually desirable she’s much more likely to fall in love with you. In the same way, if your girlfriend falls in love with you she is much more likely to find you sexually desirable as well.
Now here’s one of the most important things to talk about when it comes to making your girlfriend fall in love with you.
If you haven’t had sex with your girlfriend yet, you’ll want to do this as soon as possible.
A woman can’t truly open up and feel her full emotions for a man unless she’s had sex with him. The reason behind this is due to all those powerful little chemicals floating around her brain.
Oxytocin, dopamine, seratonin, endorphins, norepinephrine, phenethylamine are all chemicals that are released in a woman’s brain when you make love to her.
These chemicals not only make a woman feel great (assuming the sex is awesome, even better 😉 These chemicals actually bond the woman to you and make her fall head over heals in love with you.
If you aren’t having sex with your girlfriend then you’re not going to be able to get her to release all these chemicals and she’s not going to bond with you and fall in love with you. It’s as simple as that.
If you are still with your girlfriend and find that she’s falling out of love with you, then there’s a very good chance that all the signs are there. You just need to open your eyes. If your girlfriend is starting to pull away from you, then she’s probably stopped wanting to have sex with you and is already acting cold and distant. If this is happening to you, make sure you check out the Get Her Back (Action Plan).
When it comes to relationships with women, it’s always best to take preventative measures before she has a chance to completely withdraw from you and loses interest in you both sexually and emotionally. To stop this from happening, you need to get your girlfriend to think about you.
If your girlfriend isn’t thinking about you, then she’s not going to be able to fall in love with you.
So what’s the best way to get your girlfriend to think about you?
There’s a lot to be said about men like James Bond, Clint Eastwood and other alpha male characters. They live life on their own terms, and most important of all, when it comes to women, they don’t give too much away.
Women are like cats. If you give them a ball of string, after 30 minutes they’re going to get bored of it. However, if you take the string away after a minute and give it back to the cat later, it’s still going to find the ball of string interesting.
As a man, you must think the same way. You want to let the woman do most of the talking and thinking. Reveal your emotions and your past slowly, over time.
If you let everything out all at once then you run the risk of killing the mystery. Men like James Bond are a mystery and attractive because they aren’t readily available (scarcity) and they don’t open up and talk about their feelings and emotions all the time.
You might think that you can impress your girlfriend by telling her everything about your life, your history and your accomplishments. But I guarantee that this is nowhere near as impressive as letting her build you up in her mind—surprising her occasionally with a small amount of information from your past (giving her a little bit more string to play with).
If you do this you will get your girlfriend thinking about you—she’ll start to wonder who this new, interesting man in her life is, where do you come from, what was your childhood like, and who have you dated before?
As always, less is more.
If you’re able to harness the tips and tricks I’ve mentioned here, then you will not only be able to make your girlfriend fall in love with you, you will be able to maintain a long-lasting and interesting relationship with your girlfriend as well. The key is to make sure that your value (real or not) is as high as it possibly can be.
Trust yourself and trust the process,
PS. If your girlfriend has pulled away from you or left you, you need to get the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for an instant solution to your problem. This guide will show you the fastest and easiest way to get your girlfriend back and keep her.
PPS. If you need professional advice to help you get your girlfriend back and keep her, you can book an emergency response email or Skype consultation with me by going to the emergency help page. I can then give you my very own personal insight and solution plan to your problem.
Learn how to attract women and keep them attracted to you.