Some common negative beliefs include: I should be married by a certain age; I should own my own house; I should have my first child before I’m thirty; I need a degree to become successful; I’m not worthy of love; I’m always unlucky; I never get what I want; people are untrustworthy.
People often make incorrect assumptions about themselves and other people. At worst, we jump to conclusions and assume that everyone is out to get us. In less sinister but equally harmful ways, we form judgments and negative beliefs that restrict our growth and personal development.
For example, you might have been taught that it’s shameful to stand up for yourself and be assertive. Over time, you come to believe that assertiveness equals aggression. You bury your needs and focus on other people’s needs instead. You grow up with the negative belief that other people’s needs are more important than your own. But as you’ll soon discover, you can only bury and suppress your needs for so long.
When our thoughts and assumptions don’t measure up to the standards set by society, we feel ashamed and repress our emotions. Suppose you continue to bury your needs and desires. In that case, you suffocate your spirit, which eventually leads to depression and anxiety. When you fail to bring your needs into the light, where they belong, your body takes an emotional hit.
Destroy Your Social Mask
While everyone has a public face to some degree in order to meet societal standards, these masks prevent us from revealing our true selves. Our authentic self remains hidden and stays buried. To live an authentic life, we must destroy our social mask piece by piece. The more you chip away at your social mask, the easier it is to live a meaningful life.
While everyone wears a social mask to some degree, putting on a different face to meet societal standards, social masks prevent us from revealing our true selves. Instead, our authentic self remains hidden and stays buried.
To live an authentic life, we must destroy our social mask one fragment at a time. Destroying your social mask liberates you and moves you one step closer to freedom. The more you chip away at your social mask, the easier it is to live a meaningful life.
You can start to remove your social mask by questioning your assumptions and limiting beliefs. For example, a false assumption might be the negative belief that you’re unworthy of love. Many people tell themselves that they’re worthy of love, yet deep down, they feel unworthy and unlovable. In this situation, it’s tempting to use positive affirmations to build yourself up. Positive affirmations, however, won’t work, no matter how creative or elaborate you make them.
You can’t stand in the mirror and tell yourself, “I’m unique and amazing and deserve love,” if you don’t believe this statement to be true. Positive affirmations like this don’t work because they conflict with the truth. If you’re lacking in some area or have work to do, you must be brave enough to admit this to yourself. This is your truth. You can lie to others, but you can’t lie to yourself.
As the Russian author Dostoyevsky said, “Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.” When you look at your life, you must be honest about where you stand and your place in the world. If you wish to liberate yourself, you must first embrace the truth, no matter how ugly the truth might be.
People often try to suppress their needs, which can stem from feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment about who we are and what we want. In reality, there’s nothing shameful about your desires. Instead of trying to suppress your desires, you must bring your needs into the open, no matter how dark or disturbing they might be.
Once you’ve identified your negative beliefs, you can work towards destroying them, which, in turn, will allow you to create a new set of beliefs that support your long-term goals and desires.
Negative Beliefs and Physical Symptoms
All your thoughts and actions have led you to where you are today. Thus, if you’re not happy with your life, this means that your thoughts and behaviors have set you on the wrong path. How do you know if you’re on the wrong path? If you constantly feel anxious or depressed, there’s a good chance you’ve walked too far down the wrong path.
Depression and anxiety are warning signs. It’s your body telling you something is wrong, that you need to change course and follow a new path. When you think about your relationships, friends, workplace, hobbies, home, environment, how do you feel? Does one area of your life make you feel more depressed or anxious than another? If the answer is yes, this is a good indication that you need to find a different path.
Many people feel guilty when they think about changing their life. What will my friends and family think? Am I selfish, putting my needs first? Whatever the cause of your guilt, remember that, in situations like this, guilt is of little value. Guilt is an emotion that has the potential to weigh you down and hold you back. You must, however, never feel guilty for destroying something that needs to be destroyed.
The Japanese samurai and philosopher Miyamoto Musashi once said: “Do not regret what you have done.” Once you decide that it’s time for change, you must move forward without regret, for it’s right to destroy that which no longer serves you. You must embrace destruction, not shy away from it. When handled the right way, destruction is satisfying because it moves you closer to your true purpose, even if this means throwing your life into momentary chaos.
For example, if you’re the type of person who feels depressed in cold, dark, gloomy weather, moving to a warm, sunny climate is a good practical solution. Yet while you know this move is essential for your long-term health, you struggle to make the move a reality.
There are so many attachments holding you back and you’re reluctant to make a bad move or wrong decision. You ask yourself if you can really leave your old life behind? Despite your fear, you know in your heart of hearts you must destroy the path you’re on to overcome your depression.
Destruction Creates Liberation
Suppose you notice that you always feel stressed out and depressed at work. Your energy levels are low, and you have no motivation. You know you must leave your job to move onto a more productive path. When your internal environment (thoughts, beliefs, assumptions) and external environment (work, relationships, home) no longer serve you, it makes sense to change course.
Are your thoughts holding you back? Do you notice that when you talk, you only tell people what they want to hear? Do you do whatever you can to make other people happy, sacrificing your happiness for the sake of others? If the answer to these questions is yes, ask yourself, are you living for yourself or others? At this stage, you have two choices: remain trapped in a slave mindset or transition to a destroyer mindset.
If you keep your feelings bottled up without expressing yourself, you will become blocked. Instead of being directed outwards, your destroyer energy focuses inwards. This has a devastating effect on the body, as your emotions, now trapped, turn your body into a simmering volcano that can explode at any moment.
People often try to repress their feelings by putting the needs of other people first. They give the impression that they’re calm, relaxed people, then shock everyone when they explode in a fit of rage, laying waste to everyone and everything in sight.
Once you enter a destroyer mindset, it’s tempting to unleash the full force of your destroyer energy, wrecking everything in your path. But honesty is always a more efficient method of destruction. The truth will set you free, but to live with honesty, you must know yourself and speak your truth.
You must have the courage to tell people what you want and how you feel, leaving no doubt about your intentions and desires, even though some people might not like it, especially those who prefer to live in denial. Genuine honesty is beautiful and refreshing. It clears away the old and ushers in the new. Honesty has a way of setting us on the right path, especially in our relationships with other people.
Destroy Negative Beliefs
Suppose you continue to live in denial and refuse to destroy those parts of your life that need destroying. In that case, you will remain stuck in a state of depression, anxiety, and frustration for as long as you stay on the same path. Change is a necessary component of life. If you keep repeating the same behaviors, thoughts, and mistakes that led to your enslavement in the first place, nothing will change. You’ll remain stuck until you summon the courage to accept the truth and break free.
Shiva, the Hindu god of destruction, is worshiped for his ability to protect people from ignorance and delusion. In Hindu scripture, ignorance and delusion stand in the way of divine enlightenment. That is why Shiva is also the god of rebirth, representing creation and destruction in the great cycle of life. When you destroy the old and create the new, you set yourself on the path to freedom and enlightenment.
It is only your attachment to negative beliefs, people, and thoughts that hold you back. Turning your back on toxic people, dysfunctional beliefs, and destructive environments opens the door to a new life and ends unnecessary suffering. Destruction is something to be embraced, not feared. You must be willing to destroy paths that no longer serve you, for only in the flames of destruction can you rise like a Phoenix from the ashes and create the life you desire.
Unf*ck Your Life is a powerful guide that offers a solution to the turmoil and uncertainty in today’s world. Through practical exercises, inspiring stories, and insightful reflections, this book will show you how to untangle life’s most difficult issues. From relationships and work to personal growth and well-being, this book is a must-read for anyone seeking a way to unf*ck their life and embrace a brighter future. Pick up your copy today.