You Must Give Your Girlfriend Space

You Must Give Your Girlfriend Space

I’ve seen thousands of cases where clingy, needy boyfriends smother their girlfriends and kill attraction by not giving their girlfriend enough space.

“A woman without space is like a cat in a cage. . .”

You don’t lock cats up and put them in cages. The same apples to women… I’ve seen thousands of cases where clingy, needy, jealous boyfriends/husbands smother the women they’re with and drive them away.

These men are so desperate and needy that they’re literally all over their girlfriends like a bad smell. No wonder she can’t wait to get away from her man’s suffocating embrace.

personal-spaceIn my work I deal with thousands of men who are heartbroken and devastated after their woman suddenly up and leaves them. When I ask questions and try to find answers as to why the woman left, the men always say the same thing: “I don’t know, everything was going great. Then suddenly she just changed and became difficult/cold/distant/angry… and things just got worse and worse from there…”

Well, guess what. Things weren’t going great for a long time, you just didn’t notice. So why does a woman, who is usually the instigator in most breakups, suddenly leave a man and want nothing more to do with him?

The number one culprit is quite simply space.

Give Her Space And She’ll Grow To Love You

Nothing turns a woman off faster than a clingy, needy man. A man that doesn’t respect a woman’s private space and needs to be with her all the time, arm-in-arm. A man that pursues her relentlessly (note: life is not like the movies where over pursuing a woman with gifts and flowers will break down her resistance and melt her heart).

In essence, the biggest violators of space are weak men who radiate feminine energy.

I got the following email from a reader that demonstrates this point nicely. My comments are in bold.


Hey Chris,

My girlfriend of 6 months recently broke up with me. Everything was going great and we loved spending time together (did she?) and we always laughed and had fun.

I can’t believe this just happened. I feel like I’ve just been hit with a ton of bricks. WTF! She was actually the one who asked me out and was more into me than I was into her in the beginning. (<<—this is an important point! You went from the one being chased to the one chasing. It never ends well when you start chasing a woman.)

I guess things must have changed somewhere along the way because last week she said that she wanted some time apart and needed time to think. Whatever that means. When I asked her how long she wanted us to be apart, she said that she would let me know. It’s been 7 days and she’s still not responding to any of my messages and phone calls (you’re chasing again, you’re over pursuing and you’re turning this woman off).

I’m going crazy right now and don’t know what to do. Can you help me? I don’t know what happened here and the suspense is killing me. Are we finished? Is it really over between us? I really love this girl and can’t imagine my life without her. I don’t understand what I did wrong?


(Well, I know exactly what you did wrong. You changed the nature of the relationship. In the beginning you let her come to you and chase you, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Women are supposed to chase men they like, that’s the nature of women. You then tried to be the woman in the relationship by pursuing her, calling her, texting her—that’s not your job as a man. When you start showing a woman that you’re more into her than she is into you—even if it’s true, don’t show it—you will turn a woman off and they will lose attraction for you. It’s as simple as that. You acted clingy and needy and she lost attraction for you. To have any chance at getting her back you have to get her attracted to you again and to do that you need to give her space.)


It’s amazing how many men don’t get this.

I know, I know. Your feelings for your girl are so overwhelming, so powerful, so beautiful. You want to spend every waking minute with her. You can’t bear to be away from her even for a second.

You’re so used to spending time with your partner that you start to feel weird even if you don’t talk to her for a couple of hours.

Attraction Grows In Space

attracton-grows-in-spaceThese feelings are great and it’s the glue that binds a relationship together, but these same feelings are also a bag of explosives ready to rip your relationship apart. Make no mistake, these wonderful feelings work against most men because most men simply don’t know how to control these feelings of love and passion, they end up smothering and suffocating the attraction out of the relationship.

It’s important in any relationship to look at how much time you’re spending together. Are you with each other all the time? Are you getting bored? Is your partner getting bored? Are you with each other too much and running out of things to talk about?

Even if the answer is “yes” or “no” to each of these questions, it’s important to bring space into your relationship before things start to fall apart and your girlfriend starts to lose attraction for you.

Prevention really is the best cure. You wouldn’t need to get your ex back if she was still attracted to you because she wouldn’t have left you in the first place.