If you want to find out how to make your girlfriend happy, then you need to check out this article because I’m going to give you the real truth.
A lot of guys come to me and say they want to make their girlfriend happy. That’s great, but it’s not what they really want. What these guys really want is to make their girlfriend happy to be in a relationship with them.
This article will show you what you need to do to make your girlfriend happy to be in a relationship with you, so even if the rest of her life is a mess, you’ll still be the one good thing that she’s got going on.
Never Try To Make Your Girlfriend Happy
It sounds strange, but the key to making your girlfriend happy is to not try. The more you try to make your girlfriend happy, the less successful you’ll be. This is one of the strange paradoxes about dating women.
If you lavish your girlfriend with attention and try to please her, then you might make her happy in the short term, but as any experienced man will tell you, these are short term victories that will be your demise in the long run.
Instead, you should focus on making your girlfriend happy to be with you. You have to become a man that she admires and respects. A man she can be proud of.
There’s a great scene in the movie The Fan (1996) when a psychotic baseball fan played by Robert De Niro asks the pro baseball player he’s been stalking, how he got out of his slump?
The pro baseball player, played by Wesley Snipes, responds, “I just stopped caring. I relaxed and started hitting.”
The same is true when it comes to dating your girlfriend and trying to make her happy.
The more you care about making her happy, the more tense and self-conscious you’ll become. You’ll end up overthinking everything and putting your girlfriend on a pedestal. This is a big mistake.
You need to think the same way as the pro baseball player. Stop caring and focusing on your girlfriend. Instead, start hitting. Start doing things with your life and focus on making yourself happy.
Trying To Make Your Girlfriend Happy Is A Big Mistake
There is something so fundamentally wrong and toxic about the question:
“How can I make my girlfriend happy?”
The reason why this is toxic is because when you try to make your girlfriend happy, you’re actually just putting your girlfriend on a pedestal and raising her value. Sounds nice and romantic right? Wrong.
When you give your girlfriend value and focus on her happiness, you’re simultaneously lowering your own value as a man.
The end result of this is that your girlfriend will find you less attractive.
I was speaking to my girlfriend the other day and she told me that her best friend had just broken up with her boyfriend.
My girlfriend was confused. On Facebook her best friend had always been posting how her boyfriend had been buying her gifts, taking her out to dinner and spending all his money on her. Why? So he could make his girlfriend happy. The poor sap.
I wasn’t the least bit surprised that his girlfriend had broken up with him. And according to my girlfriend she was now posting the following messages on Facebook: “Enjoying single life!” and “Next time I want a strong BF.” Ouch!
The reality is that this guy had been desperately trying to please his girlfriend and make her happy. After she finished milking him out of some nice meals and gifts, and after she’d most likely had enough of the mediocre “nice” forgettable sex, this girl dismissed her boyfriend like a used tissue.
What this girl really wanted was a strong man, not some weak man-boy constantly trying to please her.
Why It’s Wrong To Try To Please Your Girlfriend
It’s not just wrong to try to make your girlfriend happy and please her, it’s wrong to do that for anyone including your friends and family.
People pleasing is weak behavior and weak behavior is unattractive not just to your girlfriend, but to all men and women and society in general (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin).
If you really want respect and want to make your girlfriend happy, you’ve got to become strong and focus on other, more important things in life (like improving your health, wealth and skills).
Ask yourself this question, what do you really want from your girlfriend?
Do you really want to make your girlfriend happy now that you know it’s not going to give you much in return? Happiness is, after all, just a temporary emotion.
When I talk to men, this is what they tell me they want from their girlfriends:
- Men want to be respected.
- Men want to have great sex.
- Men want to be admired.
- Men want a girlfriend who is loyal.
- Men want a girl they can trust.
- Men want a girl who is sexy and attractive.
- Men want a woman who shows affection and care.
Trying to make your girlfriend happy will get you none of these things. But… become a man of high value and a man your girlfriend respects and you will get all this and more.
Don’t Act This Way To Women
Before I sat down to write this article I did some research on the Internet to see what other people were saying about this topic and, no surprise, 95% of the stuff out there is dangerous advice at best.
Here is the standard advice you’ll hear about how to make your girlfriend happy (make sure you’re standing close to the toilet in case you feel the need to vomit while reading).
- Tell her how much you love her.
- Write special little love notes and leave them in her purse.
- Surprise her with flowers.
- Cook her a tasty meal.
- Pay attention to her.
- Tell her how you feel.
- Make an effort with her friends.
What do all the actions in this list have in common? Answer: these are all things that women should be focused on, not men (relationship maintenance is the woman’s domain).
I get so angry when I read advice like this because this advice will actually destroy your relationship and make a man’s girlfriend lose even more respect for him.
Close your eyes for a moment and try to imagine Muhammad Ali, Clint Eastwood or James Bond doing any of the things on this list. You’ll find that these actions become even more absurd when viewed from the point-of-view of an alpha male.
Yet, the Ali’s and Eastwood’s of the world are the type of alpha males that women are drawn to and find incredibly sexy and confident. It’s time to wake up and breath in a large dose of reality, if you still haven’t figured it out—women want confident, strong men.
If You Try To Make Your Girlfriend Happy, Then You’re Trying Too Hard
Trying to make your girlfriend happy is the act of a weak, but nice man (plenty of those around). It’s also the act of a fearful man.
I expect I’ll get a lot of heat from women and beta males for saying this, but the truth hurts people whose skin is most delicate and soft.
There is a disturbing trend in society, particularly Western society, where women expect men to worship them and essentially respect them for no other reason than the fact that the woman has a vagina.
There will always be men who worship women and fawn all over them. But the truth is that these men don’t actually respect these women, or necessarily like them, they just want to have sex with these women.
Unfortunately for these men, their behavior ensures that they just end up in friendzone for the rest of their mediocre “sexless” lives.
Women know these men want to have sex with them and the fact that most men aren’t able to express their natural desires makes them appear even weaker to women. Despite this, 95% of men continue to act this way.
These women are simply filling in time until they meet a man who is strong enough and confident enough to come along and make her submit to him.
Don’t like it, blame mother nature. The human race has been around for about 200,000 years and until the last couple of decades, men have never put women on pedestals and worshiped them as much as they do now.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to want to make your girlfriend happy, but it’s just not realistic. Here’s why…
A Wise Man Understands That Happiness Is A Temporary Emotion
What if I told you that happiness is never experienced in the moment, but only in memory.
Have you ever been consciously happy in the present?
The closest you’re likely to get is to feel serene, joyful, peaceful, content, grateful, touched, excited, aroused. Then, when you look back on these moments in your life, you’ll realize that you were happy.
How can you make your girlfriend happy? Answer: you can’t, at least not in the way you think you can.
All you can do is give her feelings of excitement, touch her, arouse her and let her experience feelings of joy and love. Then when your girlfriend thinks about you and how you made her feel, she’ll realize that you actually make her happy.
However, you can only make your girlfriend feel powerful emotions if she is attracted to you.
The weak boyfriend that “white knights” and tries to make his girlfriend happy won’t be able to move her emotionally because his actions come from a place of weakness and desperation.
In the movies a man gives a girl flowers and she swoons and falls head over heals in love; in reality, a man gives a girl flowers and she is turned off by his feminine behavior.
It’s important to also not be afraid to make your girlfriend unhappy. Just because you do something that upsets your girlfriend in the moment or makes her angry or frustrated doesn’t mean that she’s going to fall out of love with you. In fact, the reverse is likely true.
If you’re able to polarize your girlfriend’s emotions by making her feel something intensely, then she’s going to think: he made me feel [angry, sad, excited, anxious, aroused], therefore I must have feelings for him and love him.
How To Really Make Your Girlfriend Happy
If you really want to make your girlfriend happy you need to know what it is that she actually wants.
Not what she says she wants (I want to get married/I want kids/I want a nice, kind husband), or what she thinks she wants (I want a man to worship me/I want to be someone’s special girl/I want someone to take care of me and support me and love me).
Instead, you need to give your girlfriend what she needs (biologically) in order to make her truly happy.
So what does a woman want and need from a man?
Your girlfriend wants and needs a man who is a fountain of strength. As I’ve said before, beauty is to men as strength is to women.
A woman wants to look up to a man and respect him. Remember, it is a woman’s evolutionary objective to pursue men who have strong genes they can pass on to their children (and biology always trumps logic and reason, Buss 2008).
As a man you need to understand that it’s not about you and it’s not about your girlfriend, it’s about your unborn children.
If your girlfriend thinks you are a high quality man who can provide powerful genes for her offspring (whether you actually have children or not doesn’t matter), then your girlfriend will be happy (and that happiness will spring from deep inside her core, from a place that your gifts and romantic words can’t touch).
If you’re able to get your girlfriend to submit to you and open up (emotionally, physically and sexually), then your girlfriend will be happy because she’s in a state where she can truly love you. And that is all your girlfriend really wants—she wants to love you, all you have to do is make it possible.
A lot of men are focused on saying the right thing to their girlfriend, hoping that this will make their girlfriend happy.
“I love you,” the man tells his girlfriend. “I can’t imagine life without you.” He continues. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
Your girlfriend can’t be moved with words or gifts. You need to start focusing on giving your girlfriend experiences instead.
Experiences are, after all, much more memorable and meaningful to a woman than anything else you can offer (Cornell University).
The experience your girlfriend needs is to feel you: the good, the bad and the ugly. She needs to feel your presence.
Imagine the following scenario: Peter was dating Jane and she started to tell him that she was unhappy in the relationship. Peter went into panic mode. Oh, no! She’s going to leave me, he thought to himself.
The next time Peter saw Jane he took her out to a restaurant and bought her a nice dinner. He even gave her a rose when he met her and told her, “You know how much I love you, right? You’re my world, my everything.”
Jane cringed inwardly at this. Little did Peter realize that by trying to make Jane happy he had just made things worse. Jane didn’t even understand herself why she was turned off by Peter’s behavior (her biology, however, was telling her that this man was weak, overriding everything she had been taught by society and culture to appreciate in a man).
A couple of weeks later, Jane broke up with Peter. If only Peter knew how to deal with women the correct way, then this would never have happened. Too bad Peter didn’t read the Get Her Back (Action Plan).
The following week Jane started dating Paul. Everything was going great, until one day Jane said to Paul, “I’m not happy in this relationship.” To her surprise Paul just smiled and said, “Then leave.”
Jane laughed, “Just kidding.” Oh, my God. Jane thought to herself. Paul really doesn’t need me in his life. I can walk away at any time and it’s like he won’t even notice. Why isn’t he scared of losing me like Peter was? Paul must be really confident and secure in himself.
Jane’s attraction for Paul skyrocketed. That night, Paul gave Jane the best sex of her life—and she did things with him that she would never have done with Peter.
Afterwards, Jane lay in bed in a state of bliss. Satisfied and sweaty. She curled up to Paul and wrapped her arms around him, finding comfort in his strength. In that moment Jane knew she loved Paul. Her body and mind were satisfied—she was happy!
Trust yourself and trust the process,
PS. If your girlfriend has pulled away from you or left you, you need to get the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for an instant solution to your problem. This guide will show you the fastest and easiest way to get your girlfriend back and keep her.
PPS. If you need professional advice to help you get your girlfriend back and keep her, you can book an emergency response email or Skype consultation with me by going to the emergency help page. I can then give you my very own personal insight and solution plan to your problem.