Women don’t want nice, they want honest.
In all my experience working as a relationship coach, I think the biggest problem I see is that men are too nice to women. This comment might bring me a lot of heat but it’s true. There are way too many nice guys out there, and Nice guys really do finish last and women will always leave them.
Check out this email and tell me if this sounds familiar to you?
Hi Chris,
I need your help. For the past five years, including my time at college I’ve continually been rejected and friend zoned by women. I’m pretty popular and play a lot of sports and have a pretty good job now too. But when it comes to women and sex my life is a disaster. I mean it. its like I’ve got some kind of serious disease or something and women are scared to touch me. I’ve had a three year dry spell and things aren’t getting any better. I know a lot of women and they always tell me that I look handsome and they can’t understand why i don’t have a girlfriend. They must all be liars or something because none of them have shown any romantic interest in me. And when they do want to hangout with me they always complain about how all the guys they date are treating them bad and how they wish they could just meet a nice guy like me. But whenever they break up with their boyfriends they always find some other guy to date and don’t even consider me. It’s like I don’t even exist. Can you help me?
Brad
(Unfortunately, this guy has been badly friend zoned by all the women in his life. They don’t see him as a realistic dating option. They see him as someone they can talk to about their problems, not an attractive, sexy, confident man–which is what women are really looking for. This guy has been friend zoned because he is your typical nice guy.)
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Why are women so turned off by nice guys?
What is it about nice guys that is so unattractive?
I mean shouldn’t nice guys be the number one dating choice for women? After all, nice guys are sweet and caring and kind. Isn’t that what women want?
The answer is no.
Nice guys turn women off because they aren’t being honest and authentic. This lack of honesty and authenticity betrays the fact that being a nice guy is really just another way to describe a man that lacks confidence.
The reason why nice guys fail with women, and why they lack confidence is because they aren’t being honest.
Think about it. What does a nice guy really want?
A nice guy wants to have sex with a woman, but he’s too scared to admit it and be honest about it. A woman can sense this. She’s not stupid. Women know that nice guys are just being nice to them because they want sex. But rather than be honest and open about this, a nice guy will try to hide his true intentions.
How can a woman trust a man like this? How can she trust a man who is scared to reveal his true intentions and feelings. The simple answer is… she can’t.
Think of it this way, would you trust a woman if she was only being nice to you because she wanted to borrow your car? Of course not, her actions would simply tell you that she’s being deceitful and that she’s using you.
The same applies to nice guys. Nice guys aren’t really being nice, they’re just pretending to be nice to get into a girl’s panties. If a nice guy doesn’t have the confidence to tell a woman that he likes her and that he wants the date her, how can she trust him to be confident in other situations?
Here’s a the real truth…
Bad guys aren’t bad
When we think of the stereotypical bad guy we think of man who goes around being a badass to women, a man who forces women into sex, a player, a man who pumps and dumps women and leaves them on the scrapheap with their hearts broken.
The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth.
The problem is that society has brainwashed us into thinking that people who aren’t afraid to express their sexual desires and go after what they want are bad.
You can blame an over protective society, you can blame the rise of feminism, you can blame school, you can blame culture; the truth is, all of these factors combined have given birth to millions of nice guys who are afraid to express their needs and go after what they want. In short, Society has given birth to legions of nice men who are terrified of offending women in any way.
Then there are the “bad guys.” I like to call them the honest guys. These men see nothing wrong with talking to women; in fact, they see it as an essential part of life. Where’s the joy in living if you can’t talk to a girl you like?
These men see nothing wrong with talking to women; in fact, they see it as an essential part of life. Where’s the fun if you can’t talk to a girl you like?
These same “bad guys” aren’t scared of rejection either. They understand that if a woman rejects them it’s okay–it won’t be long until they find another woman who is interested in them. But here’s the reality… bad guys rarely get rejected.
Why bad guys are popular with women
They are the opposite of nice guys that’s why. These men are honest and confident in all areas of their life. They aren’t ashamed or embarrassed of their feelings, In fact, they embrace them. This in itself is a huge turn on to women.
If you like a woman, why do you need to lie and pretend that you don’t?
Bad guys don’t hide their real feelings, however, for some strange reason society tells us that we shouldn’t reveal our true feelings otherwise we’ll be punished. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that when we start to reveal our true feelings we get rewarded—we get more sex, more love, better relationships, and closer friendships.
If you are trying to attract a woman or get your ex back, playing the nice guy card is the surest path to failure. Now you understand why being the nice guy is counter-productive, it’s time to channel your inner bad guy and express your desires with confidence and without shame.